Welcome to my extra dank and dark inductions. There are so many stories that show the dark side of the NFL, and Vice can't cover them all. So that's where I step in. Enjoy my five criminal, violent, just plain nasty entries into our Hall of Infamy. These ain't for the faint of heart.
- Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson - Murder victims. Infamous for: Being knifed to death by an NFL Hall of Famer, allegedly. On June 12, 1994, the juice really was loose when O.J. Simpson, an all-time great Bills RB and C-list actor, is thought to have stabbed his ex-wife Nicole and a waiter, Ron Goldman, who was returning Nicole's mother's lost sunglasses to Nicole at her condo. O.J. is historically judged to have had a jealous streak and snapped in a rage of fury. He didn't pay for his actions at criminal trial, where he was found not guilty in what was called the Trial of the Century. However, Goldman's father Fred won a civil suit against O.J. for $33 million. The family also won the rights to the Simpson book If I Did It, where he pretended to map out the murders as if he wasn't involved in them. There is simply no more infamous incident in NFL history. Simpson was a beloved public figure at the time of the murders. He had spent several years as a sideline reporter with NBC after concluding one of the most productive careers ever. The Heisman winner and #1 overall pick out of Southern Cal, he was the 1973 league MVP when he gobbled up 2,003 rushing yards in 14 games. He racked up a number of acting roles during and after his playing days, including famous turns in the Naked Gun series of movies and as a Hertz car rental spokesman. O.J. had the world on a string. But his jealousy consumed him and caused him to, allegedly, slice the bodies of his ex and a man he assumed was nailing his ex. The slow-motion Ford Bronco car chase, the spectacle of a trial, the bloody glove--it's all part of a sordid story that lit up the country in the mid-90s. Everyone talked about it, and everyone stopped what they were doing when the verdict was read midday on Oct. 3, 1995. It was the late Johnnie Cochran who declared "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!" But for Goldman and Nicole, the saying should have went, "You will die in a haze 'cause O.J. was in a craze!" or something. The pair will live on in infamy, as they probably have in the Juice's dreams every night since.
- Leonard Little - Defensive End - Rams. Infamous for: Unlike O.J., actually being convicted of killing somebody. The Leonard Little story fits into one of my hard truths from our podcast earlier this summer, namely: When somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time. The reason Little will never hear his name in Canton (and thus finds himself enshrined here) is because his brilliant career is bracketed by two drunk driving arrests. During his rookie year in St. Louis in 1998, Little demolished a woman who was on her way to pick up her son. He blew a 0.19 on the Breathalyzer. He was sentenced to 1,000 hours of community service and suspended eight games by the NFL. Little was nonetheless an impactful rotation player, and he was on the field for a Hall of Infamy moment when Kevin Dyson was tackled by Mike Jones one yard short of glory as the Rams beat the Titans in Super Bowl XXXIV. Little put together ten very productive years for the Rams starting in his third season, including a Pro Bowl and two seasons leading the league in forced fumbles. It would be foolish to suggest that St. Louis should have shown him the door after his manslaughter conviction. It wouldn't be foolish to say that the organization should have watched out for him better knowing his alcohol issues. Little got arrested again in 2004 for DWI. Despite smelling of booze and failing three sobriety tests and admitting he was drinking, somehow Little was acquitted of DWI but convicted of speeding. He also had charges pressed by a girlfriend for stalking and harassment. It just goes to show that no matter how many people know you're a drunk and a bad guy, you can keep getting chance after chance so long as you're productive. Little was able to put together a fine career, but he won't be the star of any autograph sessions any time soon.
- Jeremy Green - Former ESPN podcaster. Infamous for: Criminally cringe to the nth power. Speaking of someone showing who they are, Jeremy Green had made a career out of hiding certain tendencies, until sunlight shone on him and disinfected his whole world. Green, surely with some guidance from pop, started his football life as a scout for several organizations, was named director of pro personnel for the Browns in the early 2000s, and then when coach Butch Davis bounced, Green and other front office folks were dumped as well. Jeremy found himself writing for ESPN and became known to me as he hosted the early version of their first football podcast. He seemed knowledgeable and sharp, and I liked his passion for football. He had other passions, it turned out. The podcast started being guest hosted by the producer and other random people in the summer of 2010, and if you didn't search out the details, you may not have known why, because they sure weren't saying a thing on the show. In fact, his name was never mentioned again after the sordid details became known. Green despite being married with two children decided to chat up a woman who he thought would bring her own children up to Bristol to have intimate relations. According to an arrest warrant, he shared pictures and videos of other children with the woman, not knowing that the woman was actually an undercover detective. This led to his arrest at a motel, where police found him, a woman who wasn't his wife, a computer with loads of kiddie porn, an ESPN company computer, and oh yeah, why the hell not, some cocaine. Green was dumped by ESPN, eventually pleaded guilty to the child porn, and served 3½ years of a five-year sentence. His father will forever be associated with "They are who we thought they were!" But no one could have thought his son would be a Michael Jackson wannabe. Sometimes, you just never know what you thought they were.
- "I Wanna Kiss You" - Drunk Broadway Joe. Infamous for: Hitting on an interviewer live in front of God and the world without a hint of shame.
A hearty congratulations go to another NFL Hall of Famer, Joe Namath, for becoming the first person with two entries in the Jim Mora Wing of Quotes. On one side of the spectrum, he surely is very proud of his New York Jets Super Bowl guarantee. This is waaaay over on the other side of the spectrum. On Monday night Dec. 20, 2003, the Patriots visited the Jets, and ESPN sent sideline reporter Suzy Kolber to interview Namath live during play. Joe was apparently about three bottles into the evening, and after slurring through some thoughts on QB Chad Pennington and the underwhelming Jets, he decided: that was enough foreplay, let's get down to business. He propositioned Kolber with the infamous two-line proclamation: "I wanna kiss you. I couldn't care less about the team strugg-a-ling." My favorite broadcast crew put the icing on the ick cake when Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick tried to chalk up Namath's come-on to him being just a happy guy. Paul Maguire deadpanned: "Oh boy is he happy." This is how ubiquitous Namath's quote is: My wife doesn't watch football, doesn't know much about it, but when Namath pops on our TV as part of that Medicare coverage ad campaign we've all seen, she responds: "Isn't he the drunk guy who was strugg-a-ling?" This is the Crying Jordan of the NFL. It's the moment a man who was at the top of the sports world generations ago gets discovered and memed by the Tiktok and Youtube generation who doesn't know anything about his playing days. Namath never imagined that he could top the fame from his Guarantee. But on this fateful evening, he was no match for the unmistakable beauty of, uh, Suzy Kolber.
- Orchids of Asia Day Spa - Permanently closed massage parlor. Infamous for: Giving an NFL owner the happy ending Deshaun Watson prays for. The saga of Patriots owner Robert Kraft's "rub-and-tug" is infamous and embarrassing for the same reason Watson's tale is--because men with the financial means to buy women should focus on buying those who want to be bought and who provide the utmost in discretion. Kraft is worth more than eight billion dollars according to Forbes, so the thought of him showing up at a $59 day spa in Palm Beach County, FL on Jan. 19, 2019, is baffling. The spa had a rep for happy endings, but law enforcement caught on and set up a surveillance sting, and ol' Bob got caught getting a hand job during one visit and a blow job during another. Kraft had chosen the wrong joint to go slummin'. Lucky for him, he's filthy rich, so like O.J., he enlisted a murderer's row of attorneys who had no other objective but to get their client off. The women and their madams were caught in the prison system as they battled their charges. They mostly didn't have the means to post bail. Kraft avoided the perp walk, pled not guilty to solicitation, his lawyers got the video evidence thrown out on technicalities, and in Sep. 2020, the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. All the videos were ordered to be destroyed last year. No harm, no foul. Except we will immortalize and remember Robert Kraft for managing to get wrapped up in a sex scandal that could have easily been avoided had he used some of those billions for outcall.
Join Jay and me for my live presentation of this year's class on Thu. Aug. 4 at 10P/9 Central on our podcast:
