Thu. Nite Opener Saints @ Packers

It's Opening Night!  It's Obama pre-empting Nickelback's pregame show (BLESS YOU OBAMA!!).  It's the last two Super Bowl champions head to head.  It's Brees.  It's Rodgers.  It's under the lights at Lambeau Field.  It's a four-point spread, with the Pack giving points.  And for me, it's not enough.  Jay will try to play cute in the opener and pick the Pack to win but New Orleans to cover.  He feels that strongly that it will be a close contest and a 3-point Green Bay victory.  I feel that Aaron Rodgers launched himself into another stratosphere during that playoff run, and he gets to add weapons that weren't there like TE JerMichael Finley.  I don't think the Saints have the D to pump Rodgers' brakes.

My Pick:  Green Bay 41-28

The Official IMLD 2011-12 Season Preview!

Yes, Jason and I finally carved out some time to chat about which teams we like this season.  We threw in a couple of Bold Predictions, but overall, our outlooks look really similar.

Dre's NFC Playoff Teams
Packers, Rams, Falcons, Giants, Saints (WC), Eagles (WC)
Jay's NFC Playoff Teams
Packers, Rams, Falcons, Giants, Saints (WC), Buccaneers (WC)

Jason's bold prediction is that the Dream Team, the new most hated team in the land, the Philadelphia Eagles, will find themselves on the outside looking in come playoff time.  He firmly believes in Michael Vick finding himself sidelined due to injury sometime this season, which is something Vick seems to do every year.  And Vick's replacement if he can't make it onto the field?  The Almighty Himself, Vince Young!  This does not bode well for the Iggles considering Young's track record in the NFL thus far.  "If he can't handle his drink in Tennessee," Jason says of Young, "what's gonna happen in Philly?!"  The answer may be that Andy Reid will wish that VY never brought his talents to the City of Brotherly Love.  I think they're a little too talented to miss the playoffs completely, but Jason and I are both taking Tom Coughlin and the mentally fragile Giants to take the East division.  We don't see them making it very far in the playoffs, though.  Long playoff runs aren't Coughlin and Eli Manning's thing, except for that one year.  Jason is the leader of the Josh Freeman Bandwagon, picking Tampa Bay to take another step forward and claim a playoff spot, one of three playoff teams for Jay to come out of the South.  I'm picking the Bucs to take a big step back because they refused to upgrade that shitty defense in the offseason.  We don't know what to make of the Bears, last year's other conference title game participants, but we're both calling them to miss the playoffs this time around.  Jay Cutler recovered from his controversial knee injury to find the same crappy offensive line and same subpar receivers.  Not good.  The Rams may win the West by default, but we don't think it will be with yet another sub-.500 record.  No, St. Louis could be quite dangerous.  My Sam Bradford hatred may have to be curtailed now that the Boy Genius, Josh McDaniels, is running the offense.  Just don't let him talk the brass into trading for Tebow.  The Rams are still a shoo-in to host a Wild Card team in the Saturday afternoon playoff game, because that will still be the worst game of the weekend, but the game won't be as dreadful as one would anticipate.  I think they will host the Eagles.  Jason thinks they will play Tampa.  The Falcons are fucking loaded.  I like how they addressed their biggest weakness, rushing the passer, by adding Ray Edwards as a companion DE for John Abraham.  But we both believe that the most loaded team would have to be the defending champions.  We both are picking Green Bay to return to the Super Bowl, and I'm doing something that I rarely do--calling a repeat.

Dre's AFC Playoff Teams
Steelers, Chargers, Texans, Patriots, Ravens (WC), Broncos (WC)
Jay's AFC Playoff Teams
Ravens, Chargers, Colts, Patriots, Jets (WC), Steelers (WC)


My bold prediction is that the beloved New York Jets will stop getting lucky and fall below sea level, and Denver will use having a head coach who isn't retarded and knows what an NFL quarterback looks like to their advantage and make their way back into the playoffs.  Denver's problem was not going to be the offense, unless they listened to their team jersey sales and not common sense and installed Tim Tebow as the starting QB.  The problem was always their awful defense, but they should be much improved with new head coach John Fox and some added pieces on the field.  I don't have to go on about why I hate the Jets.  It's well chronicled.  They do not have a quarterback.  The South is officially up for grabs with the news of Peyton Manning being in less than perfect health.  But that isn't stopping Jason from picking Indianapolis to once again take the division.  It's not from love for Peyton, though--he knows that Peyton's my bitch and I will always own him.  No, Jay is upchucking at the media awarding the South to the Houston Texans based on just Manning's downfall.  The Texans are this year's Houston Texans Memorial Preseason Media Darling, just edging out the Lions.  And Jason ain't buying it.  I'll tag along because Peyton not practicing with his receivers spells doom, especially when the receivers aren't very good.  He won't be able to reverse the damage done by Kerry Collins.  And Houston's D can't be much worse than in previous years.  We both will take the Pats to win the East, although we're not gung-ho about Captain Belichick tossing off multiple impact players to make room for Albert Haynesworth and Chad Johnson.  As for the West, our issue isn't with the Chargers, who should dominate a weak division.  It's whether Oakland can continue to run the ball with authority or choose to try airing it out, which we know is the preference of Cryptkeeper Al.  I think that Tom the Cable Guy was the driving force behind the run attack, and whomever is the new coach will try to please Al by going deep with Jason Campbell and Jacoby Ford.  And that's why I have Denver finishing ahead of Oakland.  Oh, and we both have Kansas City falling back because they showed how not ready for prime time they were in that playoff game against the Ravens.  Speaking of Baltimore, that's Jason's pick to go to the Super Bowl.  Packers-Ravens is Jay's annual tradition, and one of these years, he may even get it right.  I'll go Pack over Chargers in a QB battle for the ages.

Let the games begin!!

2011 Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy: Part II

Here are the final five inductees to the IMLD Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy:

• Rush Limbaugh - Blowhard - ESPN - Famous for: Idiocy. The conservative media was very desirious that a member of their ranks make the Hall in it's inaugural year. So thusly, I submit to you: the Donovan McNabb rant of 2003.


• Nick Harper - Cornerback - Indianapolis Colts - Famous for: Having only one man to beat to get his team to the Super Bowl, and failing miserably. The 2005 Steelers were probably the worst Super Bowl champs of my lifetime of watching the NFL. The Seahawks/Steelers matchup wasn't very inviting to begin with, and the game was only made all the worse by the worst officiating I've ever seen in a big game setting. Flash back to the AFC Championship game between the Colts and Steelers. After sacking Peyton Manning on 4th down at HIS OWN ONE YARD LINE late in the game, the Steelers were looking to punch the ball in with their goal line specialist Jerome Bettis. Bettis ran into the pile, and the ball popped out of his hands straight to Nick Harper, who streaked towards paydirt and the Super Bowl. All he had to do was run past a flailing Ben Roethlisberger. Harper couldn't do it, the Colts missed a game tying field goal attempt, and the Steelers went on to win the worst Super Bowl EVAH! Thanks, Nick.


• Eugene Robinson - Safety - Atlanta Falcons - Famous for: High moral character. The 1998 Atlanta Falcons were in the Super Bowl after one of the most exciting NFC Championship games ever seen. A massive underdog, the Falcons went into the Metrodome to face a 15-1 Vikings offensive juggernaut and walked out NFC Champions. One of the key pieces of their defense, Eugene Robinson, the night before the Super Bowl, was awarded the Bart Starr Award from a Christian Group citing his "high moral character." What better way to celebrate? Go out and solicit an undercover police officer posing as a hooker to give you a blowjob for $40. The next day, Robinson gave up the crushing play of the Super Bowl, an 80 yard over the top pass from John Elway to Rod Smith, and the game was over.


• Bryant McKinnie - Offensive Tackle - Minnesota Vikings - Famous for: Unspeakable acts. We could induct a member of the 2005 Vikings Sex Boat scandal every year (in fact I just might)! They're like the '85 Bears of Depravity. Nobody is more deserving of induction than McKinnie, however. Let this sink in for a second: he performed oral sex on a prostitute. Now go shower.


• The Ghost of Sean Taylor - Dead Safety - Washington Redskins - Famous for: Rolling over in his grave! The murder of the Redskins Pro Bowl Safety was a dark moment during the 2007 season. Killed during a home invasion, the Redskins team and NFL were devasted by such a senseless act. Tributes in his name sprung up around the league, culminating at the next weekends Bills/Redskins game in Washington D.C. The pregame tribute to Taylor was rousing and inspiring, a fitting tribute to the player that was lost. Then, after a long field goal drive by Washington, the Redskins came out with 10 players on defense as another tribute to their fallen comrade. Let's do the math: the Bills came out with 11 players and the Redskins came out with 10. Hmmmm, I wonder what happened? The Bills ran to the side with the missing safety, with Fred Jackson piling up 17 yards along the left sideline before finally being pushed out of bounds. The Redskins would then go on to LOSE THE GAME after Joe Gibbs made a huge coaching error and tried to call back to back timeouts, allowing the Bills to win. Now, for a moment, ponder the thinking of playing a man short as a tribute. What if Taylor was, oh I don't know, the Quarterback? Would they have snapped the ball to nobody and watched as the team scrambled to fall on the ball rolling around in the backfield? The best tribute would have been to go out, light up the Bills, and win one for their fallen teammate. Instead, what started as an amazing tribute to a great player, ended with a thud. Somewhere, Sean Taylor wept.

There they are, the inaugural inductees to the IMLD Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy. All the names, places, and things left off the list will go back into the fold for next seasons list. Trust me, there were some good ones too!

We're halfway through the preseason now, it's time to start planning out fantasy teams and seeing who gets cut and who makes it to the pros, and almost time to start picking some damn games.

King Goodell Strikes Again

So, y'all remember this little entry that referenced NFL players publicly ripping Commissioner Roger Goodell for wielding too much power?  Hammering down on those who step out of line?  Seemingly making up punishments as he walked along the planet at his every whim?  Guess who decided to suspend a player for shit he did in college before he sets one foot in the league??  Yep, that guy.

Say what you want about Terrelle Pryor, the Ohio St. QB who received money and maybe other improper benefits in exchange for selling memorabilia last year, but don't say that he has done something as an NFL player that Roger Goodell has to judge.  He's not even in the Goddamn league yet.  The backstory, it appears, is that Pryor so desperately wanted to get in to the NFL supplemental draft that he blew the whistle on himself and informed Goodell that there were more violations that he committed while a Buckeye that most definitely would have caused him to be thrown off the team had they been discovered by the inept investigators of the NCAA.  This is relevant because normally, a player is ruled eligible for the supplemental draft only if he is not able to play football in school at all, and Pryor wasn't totally ineligible at Ohio St.  He was, however, going to be subject to a five-game suspension for his actions had he returned to campus this coming fall.  So instead, he dropped out of school and started lobbying to be included in the supplemental draft.  The curious case of whether Pryor would be allowed in that draft climaxed in the draft being postponed by Goodell while he figured out what to do.  He couldn't just hand down a ruling one way or the other, he needed time to get things straight.  Apparently, it was time spent negotiating with Pryor and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, trying to find a way to allow Pryor into the draft without sending a message to all other collegiate miscreants that they, too, can walk away from school and right into the supplemental draft if they get their spot blown up.

And this is the result?!  Goodell lets Pryor into the draft (where he was taken in the 3rd round today by, no shock here, the most scatterbrained, inept organization maybe in all of sports, the Raiders) but will make him serve the five-game suspension that he would have served in college.  That's unbelievable!  Imagine a 20-year-old punk busted for something the NCAA considers illegal but isn't against the law, then he walks off of campus and into a job at an accounting firm, but first, they decide that he needs to stay home for the first five weeks of his employment with no pay as penance for the shit he did back in college which has nothing to do with the firm.  I couldn't believe my ears when I heard this news.  And the reason I say that Pryor and his agent had to negotiate this deal is because Pryor is on record as saying that he's not going to challenge the suspension.  I cannot imagine this crap standing up in court if brought before a judge, but Pryor has said that he's not challenging it.  I'm not breaking any news, I have no inside info.  I'm just guessing that there's absolutely no fucking way Pryor and Rosenhaus let this totally unprecedented decision stand without a fight unless they were told by King Goodell that this was the only way he would allow Pryor into the draft.  And Pryor must have felt he had to accept because he's persona non grata at OSU and would have had to wait a year for the 2012 NFL Draft. That would leave him with options such as the Canadian Football League or the UFL that would have paid much less than the NFL or Ohio St. and would have left him vulnerable to injury and a possible derailment of his NFL dream.

The law has been handed down, and King Goodell has spoken.  After listening to players in his league fire off profanity-laced tirades and gripes about his heavy-handed style of governing, he trumps himself by deciding that free tattoos and selling golden pins while in college makes you subject to his tyranny once you step into the league.  Terrelle Pryor now stands as the only player in the history of team sports to potentially have a totally clean record throughout his professional career and still have to serve a suspension.  If there's someone else who fits this description, please enlighten me.  And the topper on the whole thing is, this humongous deal is being made over a guy who's not good at his position.  Pryor's only hope of succeeding on the field in the NFL is to switch positions because he sucks at QB.  Goodell's latest whipping out of his dick and slapping it against the face of a lowly player is completely over the line, without precedent, and impossible to imagine under any other circumstance, and unless Pryor adjusts his mentality and allows his athletic talent to be used in the best way possible, it's a monumental, unprecedented decision that ended up not meaning shit.

2011 Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy: Part I

Well, it's finally here: the First Annual JTG Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy inductions. After a thorough nomination process, the selection committee (me) has narrowed the finalists down to 10 entrants.

Players, coaches, refs, places, all were considered for entry into the Hall. What is a Hall of "Fame" anyways? Should it be reserved for the best players, or as the title implies, the most famous? Or in some cases, the most in-famous (that means "more than famous" - bonus points for getting that reference).

The selection committee (me) did have a few criteria:

1. The inductee cannot be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame already


2. The inductee cannot be even close to being considered worthy of entry into the Pro Football Hall of Fame


3. The inductee must be famous FOR something, not just for stats or the other random things the joke that is the pro sports HOF's consider when voting


4. It's my HOF/HOI, so if you don't like it, that's a you problem!

Without further adieu, the First Annual JTG Hall of Fame/Hall of Infamy, inductees 1-5 out of 10

• Chris Hanson - Punter - Jacksonville Jaguars. Famous for: Chopping his leg with an axe! Special teams players tend to get no love in the "Real" Hall of Fame, well my first inductee is not only a special teamer, but a GODDAMNED PUNTER. Hanson put himself on IR in 2003 when he chopped into his leg with an axe that Coach Jack Del Rio set up with a wood stump in the locker room as motivation to keep choppin wood. The Jaguars were really lucky that Gilbert Arenas didn't go into a career in the NFL, but I digress. In a post-9/11 world, where you can't even take nail clippers on an airplane, who thought it would be a good idea to put an AXE in an NFL locker room full of jacked up/roided out (allegedly) Neanderthals?


• Bert Emanuel - Wide Receiver - Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Famous for: Having a rule named after him! No easier to way to reach sporst immortality than to have something go wrong and forever have your name attached to it. Emanuel made a clutch second and long catch to move the Bucs into a third and 10 deep in Ram terriroty near the end of the 1999 NFC Championship game. The Bucs D had held the Greatest Show on Turf Rams offense to 11 points, but with Shaun King at the helm, the Bucs only had 6 of their own points. Turns out the catch was reviewed, and then overturned, because the ball came into brief contact with the turf, despite Emanuels vice grip control of the ball. But the rule is the rule, no matter how lame (see Rule, Tuck) and the Bucs ended up with 3rd and forever and lost posession on downs. Everyone and their brother could see that Emanuel controlled the ball all the way through the catch, and now every time we see a receiver control the ball during a catch, even if the ball briefly touches grass, some announcer will harken back to this play, probably just to make himself sound smart. After the 99 season, the NFL changed the rule, and Bert Emanuel would be forever immortalized, even though his team got jobbed.


• Phil Luckett - Referee - The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time...Every Time. Famous for: pretty much being the unluckiest bastard ever! Can one referee be a part of as much controversy and idiocy as Phil Luckett. We'll forever remember him as the guy who got a coin toss wrong. He's the guy that caused the league to change the coin toss to "call it in the air" to calling it before the toss. But wait, there's more! Luckett was also the ref of the greatest moment in IMLD picking history (if you are me): The Music City Miracle. To this day, Dre contends it was a forward pass, but Luckett knew better. But wait, theres MORE! Luckett was head referee of the infamous "We Thought Vinny Testaverde's Head Was the Ball" Game, the fallout from which sparked the NFL to adopt instant replay. Cherry on top, you say? Luckett also owns a pass defense, as he got in the way of a WIDE open Joe Horn on a sure touchdown pass. Would have only been better if Dre owned Joe Horn that year in fantasy and had him active. Oh wait, he DID!


• Frank Reich - Quarterback - Buffalo Bills. Famous for: Two Words....The Comeback! Reich was the longtime backup to Jim Kelly during the Bills infamous 4 year run of losing Super Bowls. In the first round of the 1993 playoffs, Reich was substituting for an injured Jim Kelly (ironically injured the previous week against the Oilers) in a Bills/Oilers wild card weekend tilt. What you'd expect to happen happened: The Warren Moon led Run and Shoot Oilers jumped out to a 35-3 lead by the early third quarter. Then, mayhem. The Bills got hot and the Oilers started collapsing, and leading it all was a backup quarterback, whose name will forever be synonymous with NFL immortality.


• Freddie Mitchell - Wide Receiver - Philadelphia Eagles. Famous for: The best football quote ever from a crap player! Want to make Packer fans cringe? No, don't tell them Brett Favre is contemplating a comeback, rub this in their face: 4th and 26. In a 2004 division round matchup against the Eagles, the Packers had the game all but sewn up, and had the Eagles down to a desperate 4th and 26 with time running out. The Packers brain farted on defense, allowing classic underacheiver Freddie Mitchell to catch a 27 yard pass and proclaim after the game "I just want to thank my hands for being so great." Classic!

Part Two will follow in the days to come...

I'm On Twitter Too!

But I wouldn't have bothered if not for JTG.  I have to keep up with the times, and with my partner as well.  You can follow me at:  @imlddre

Can Both Teams Lose A Trade?

With a flurry of B-Listers moving teams in the NFL right now, I wanted to take a moment to highlight a trade that made ZERO sense to me.

Philadelphia sends an overpaid backup quarterback to the Arizona Cardinals for their best cornerback, leaving behind a team that had a pretty awful defense to begin with.

Well, thats how the transaction wire should read anyways. Kevin Kolb, who lasted part of the first game last season as a starter, before Clay Matthews rode on his head in the grass, was shipped to the exile of the NFC West in exchange for an impact corner AND a second round pick.

If you think I'm saying that the Eagles have won this exchange, you'd be wrong. They both lost.

We all know Micheal Vick is a walking injury machine. It's not a question of IF he will get hurt, but WHEN. Trust me, I'm a Falcons fan. I watched way too much Doug Johnson and Kurt Kittner to know what happens when Vick gets hurt and there's no reliable backup to step in. Atlanta, just before the Vick dogfighting scandal broke, shipped out Matt Schaub. There was a steady undercurrent in the fan base that had tired of Vick and wanted to see more of Schaub. Well, we got to see more of him all right, lighting it up deep to Andre Johnson in Houston. Meanwhile, Vick goes to jail and Atlanta suffered through one of the most embarrasing seasons in franchise history. Now, Vick didn't get hurt you say? Not that time, but in Vicks career, he's only played an entire season once. Kolb was a valuable safety net.

As for the Cardinals, if you think this is the answer to all your QB woes, think again. I haven't seen enough of Kolb to think that he makes you substantially better. At best, you can hope for him to be Matt Cassell, at worst...Scott Mitchell. Shipping out your pro-bowl caliber cornerback is also not a great idea. If the Eagles plan is to win games 14-13 with their bolstered D, the Cards plan must be to lose games 41-38, and be without a 2nd round pick next year.

But maybe the Cards just want the #1 pick. That might be harsh, but I don't get this trade. Maybe I'll be proven wrong. Maybe Vick will last a full season. Maybe Kolb will be the spark the Cards offense needs.

Bold prediction: No postseason for either team this year. Now go prove me wrong, guys.