Week 12 ATS Recap: Dookie-A-Nacho

Poor Michelle Tafoya. In her haste, she decided to change the name of Broncos DB Duke Ihenacho into "Dookie A. Nacho." This prompted both Dres wife AND my wife to comment on the hilarity of said name. My wife turned and asked me if the guys name was "Dookie Nacho" and I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably for the next several minutes, followed shortly by a Facebook post from Dres wife calling out the same gaffe. Maybe the SNF crew just like saying "Dookie Nacho" but I think the winner is still Al Micheals call of "Orlando Scaaaaaaaandrick."

Picks We Both Won (2)

• Bucs (+9½) 24, Lions 21 - After we got fooled into believing that the Lions would claim their rightful place atop the NFC North last week, we knew better to stick with the Lions for a second go-round. However, I didn't expect them to LOSE to Tampa IN Detroit. Tampa is going to get some Houston Texans Memoral Preseason Media Darling love here soon if they keep this up. The Thanksgiving Packers-Lions game has no business being compelling, but thanks to the Lions struggles, that's what it'll be.
• Cardinals (-3) 40, Colts 11 - How is this the same Colts team that beat the Seahawks, Niners, and Broncos? In yet another division race that has no right being close, the Colts are just two games up on the Titans with 5 games to go and, of course, host the Titans this week. Arizona is in prime contention for a wild card spot in the NFC, which is just as shocking as the fact that Interception Santa made it through this game with no picks.

Picks We Both Lost (3)

• Saints 17, Falcons (+10) 13 - In their last hurrah, the MASH unit that is the Atlanta Falcons pulled themselves off the scrap heap to give the Saints a much better game than they expected. It wasn't enough, as Rob Ryan dialed up the pressure all night on Matt Ryan, getting 5 sacks en route to an ugly win.
• Steelers (+1) 27, Browns 11 - By getting to 5-6, the Geriatrics (Steelers) are actually among a group of shitty teams still with a realistic shot at the last AFC wild card spot. That's just sad.
• Cowboys (+1) 24, Giants 21 - The Boys jumped out to a 21-6 lead before the Giants mounted a late attempt to rescue their season, but Tony Romo led Dallas to a game winning FG as time expired and turned the NFC Least into a 2-team race between Philly and Big D.

Picks Dre Won Head to Head (5)

• Jaguars (+10) 13, Toxins 6 - So how many of you out there thought the Jags and Texans would both be 2-9 after 12 weeks?
• Ravens (-3½) 19, Jets 3 - Both the Jets and Ravens are 5-6 and very much alive for the right to be one and done in the wild card round. It's hard to believe the Jets will make it as Geno Smith has gone from hot-shit rookie to doing his best Mark Sanchez impersonation. This will NOT save Rex Ryan's job, by the way.
• Rams (-1) 42, Bears 21 - We all knew the Bears run D was bad, but the effort (bad use of the word effort) put on the field Sunday was embarrassing. The Bears were gashed to the tune of over 10 yards per carry. When you average giving up a first down on EVERY run, you don't stand much of a chance of winning. As lopsided as the score was, this didn't get out of hand until very late in the 4th quarter, leaving the Bears with a very minor positive as they scramble with the Lions and Packers for the NFC North crown.
• Titans (-1) 23, Raiders 19 - The Titans won it on a last second Ryan Fitzpatrick TD pass. The winner of this game was set to reach the all-important 5 win plateau, which in the AFC playoff race is crucial at the moment. This is making me ill. At this moment, only the Jags and Toxins have NO shot of making the playoffs in the AFC.
• Niners (-5½) 27, Redskins 6 - The San Fran defense dominated this game from start to finish so the offense just had to not royally fuck up and all would be well. That's exactly what happened, as the sluggish Niners offense made good on their opportunities but not enough to make me think that they have overcome their woes. Also, I think we're officially on Shanny Watch.

Picks I Won Head to Head (4)

• Vikings (+4) 26, Packers 26 (OT) - Hey, a tie. Insert your Donovan McNabb jokes here____________________________. This game had no business even going to overtime, but Mike McCarthy got over his Scott Tolzien love and went to Matt Flynn, who led a 4th quarter comeback but couldn't quite seal the win for the Packers. Flynn might not be a star, but he looks incredibly comfortable in the Packers scheme, and gives them a fighting chance to get back in the race on Thanksgiving if Aaron Rodgers isn't ready for Detroit.
• Chargers (+4) 41, Chiefs 38 - Dre was spot on about the high scoring nature of this game, calling it 35-31 for the Chiefs on the podcast. That came real close to happening, except for the part where the Chiefs play defense. ANY defense. We know the Chargers can score, and of the shit 5-6 AFC teams, they have got to be the most dangerous.
• Panthers 20, Dolphins (+4½) 16 - Sure, I got a cheap cover on the hook. As bad as this week was shaping up for me, I'll take it. As for the Panthers I will say this: this win was more impressive than their last two. Why? Because this was a textbook letdown spot for them, and rather than folding, they gutted out a win on the road late. Carolina is for real.
• Patriots (-1) 34, Broncos 31 (OT) - I gave up on this one at halftime, when the Broncos were winning 27-FUCKING ZERO. The next morning I woke up to see I won this pick, and I just cannot wait to hear Dre's take on this one. Instead of giving back 3 picks to Dre for the week, I only lost 1.

Dre 7-7
Jason 6-8