Week 4 ATS Recap: The Revenge of Glennon

This is typical. Dre devoted an entire stat shout out to the......mediocrity(?) of Mike Glennon, calling out those who thought that the Bucs had a shot to be relevant now that they'd benched Luke-Cade-Josh McClown in favor of Glennon. When will we learn that isolating one single player for their ineptitude means said player will proceed to shove it up our asses that week? So, of course, Glennon led the hapless Bucs to a cover at Pittsburgh and then put the cherry on that shit sundae by winning the game in the closing seconds. Just perfect.

Picks We Both Won (2)

• Packers (-2) 38, Bears 17 - Aaron Rodgers decided to have one of his MVP-type days at a bad time for the Bears, who seemed to concentrate mightily (and successfully) at stopping Lacy and the Packer run game. Rodgers shredded the Bears depleted (inept) secondary, while Jay Cutler got pick-happy in the second half, ruining any comeback attempts for the Bears. All is not rosy for the Packers, though, as they couldn't mount much of a running game against a woeful Bears run-D.
• Colts (-7.5) 41, Titans 17 - All history will ever need to know about this cover: Charlie Whitehurst started for the Tennessee Titans.

Picks We Both Lost (5)

• Giants (+3.5) 45, Redskins 14 - Kirk Cousins picked a bad day to look like a backup quarterback. After looking GREAT in his previous two appearances, Cousins decided it was a good time to commit FIVE turnovers en route to a 31 point drubbing by the Giants. No amount of Eli Manning suck could have overcome what Cousins puked all over the field this day.
• Ravens (-3.5) 38, Panthers 10 - Perhaps we underestimated the motivations of one Steve Smith Senior Citizen? Smith snagged two TDs (only one was intended for him) and got revenge on the team that let him go. Worry for the Panthers, this is two drubbings in a row now against teams (Baltimore and Pittsburgh) that aren't exactly Murderers Row.
• Lions (-2.5) 24, Jets 17 - The Lions keep winning games they used to lose. Maybe they have exorcised the Schwartz? Calls in New York, however, are going out for Rex Ryan to bench Geno Smith in favor of the vastly more talented and proven Mike Vick. Ryan is sticking with Smith, so basically Ryan wants to be fired.
• Buccaneers (+7.5) 27, Steelers 24 - See above. Oh, and fuck the Steelers. I'm guessing many a survivor pool ended this day.
• Dolphins (-3.5) 38, Raiders 14 - On a neutral site, it's playing out that the better team has a huge advantage. So we picked the Raiders. Because we are dumb.

Smellin Pushy (1)

• 49ers (-5) 26, Eagles 21 - Can we have moral victories at IMLD? Dre totally nailed this pick. On this field, the Niners were the vastly superior team. Oh, except for allowing a defensive touchdown and TWO (count 'em) special teams TDs. This game should have never even been close, yet the Eagles still afforded me a push and allowed me to slightly pad my lead for the season against Dre. He can keep that moral victory!

Picks Dre Won Head to Head (2)

• Chargers (-13.5) 33, Jaguars 14 - The Jags hung tough into the third quarter, but the result was as it should be. The Chargers are pretty damn good. Did we overlook them coming into the season? I know I did.
• Vikings (+3) 41, Falcons 28 - It's official: the Falcons suck balls on the road. The Falcons allowed themselves to be violated by Matt Asiata and a QB starting his first ever game in Teddy Bridgewater. While I liked Bridgewater coming out of college, an opponent can't let him have a field day like he did in his FIRST NFL START. Atlanta will be tough to take to cover on the road against anybody the rest of the way.

Picks I Won Head to Head (3)

• Texans (-3) 23, Bills 17 - The Bills played a tougher game than I thought they would, but never seemed to recover from a crushing 80 yard pick-6 by J.J. Watt. Never let a D-lineman go 80 on a pick, no matter how freakishly talented he is.
• Cowboys (+3) 38, Saints 17 - The stat line will make it look like the Saints exposed the Dallas defense. That was true.....mostly in garbage time. The Cowboys were up 4 touchdowns before the Saints found the end zone, capitalizing on sloppy Saints play in what seems to be a recurring nightmare for the Saints. We commented on the podcast that we were a bit worried about the Saints, and their only saving grace may be that the allegedly tough NFC South looks like total shit right now.
• Chiefs (+3.5) 41, Patriots 24 - That is about as outclassed as you will ever see the Patriots be. The Chiefs could do anything they wanted offensively to the New England defense all night, making the most of runningbacks Jamaal Charles and Knile Davis, who both almost topped the 100 yard mark. Alex Smith even decided to look like a good NFL quarterback for the night, compiling a 20-for-26, three touchdown performance. It might be time for the Pats to panic, but they are in the same boat as the Saints: their allegedly tough division is completely up in the air at the moment. For New England, I will say this: is there a team with a WORSE stable of wide receivers and runningbacks as the Patriots? Tom Brady has done a lot with very little in his career, but he's not getting any younger. The guy needs help.

Jason 5-7-1

Dre 4-8-1