- The Tools of T.O. - The Objects That Helped Make Terrell Owens A Household Name. I'm no stranger to carving out space in our Hall for inanimate objects that tell a story about a real-life Hall of Famer. I'm the guy that welcomed in Brett Favre's memorabilia from his pursuit of Jenn Sterger to show what kind of guy he really was. Well, with T.O. going in on the merits of his career, I chased down every bit of material I could to show what kind of self-aggrandizing diva he was the whole time. No one put props to work quite like Terrell Owens. The man who once proclaimed "I love me some me!" loved him some spotlight, so here's a comprehensive list of items that I need donated for our Hall of Infamy that helped him grab attention over the years: The Dallas midfield star from old Texas Stadium, where Owens ran and posed as a 49er after two TD catches on Sept. 24, 2000...The Sharpie that he used to autograph a ball that he caught for a TD at Seattle on Oct. 14, 2002, a ball that he caught over DB Shawn Springs, a ball that he gave to his financial adviser who also happened to be the financial adviser of Shawn Springs...The pompoms he grabbed from a cheerleader and shook to cheer himself after catching a TD on Dec. 15, 2002...Donovan McNabb's barf, widely rumored to be all over the field during Super Bowl 39 on Feb. 6, 2005, while Owens on a busted ankle against doctors' orders was balling for the Eagles with nine catches for 122 yards...Concrete from his driveway where Owens chose to do sit-ups shirtless in front of cameras and reporters on Aug. 10, 2005, in lieu of answering questions about why the Eagles and then-coach Andy Reid had suspended him... The empty bottle of hydrocodone that Owens allegedly poured into his mouth in a suicide attempt on Sept. 27, 2006, leading to Hall of Infamy member Kim Etheredge denying the allegation by saying that Owens had "25 million reasons why he should be alive"...The bag of popcorn he grabbed from a fan as a member of the Cowboys after scoring on Nov. 30, 2007...and finally, those big-ass megasized sunglasses Owens wore after a playoff loss to the Giants on Jan. 13, 2007. Of course, Owens wore those to hide his watery eyes as he defended criticism of Cowboys QB Tony Romo, who (gasp!) vacationed during the previous bye week and therefore clearly was in no condition to play football or something. T.O.'s sobbing quote as he says of Romo, "That's my teammate, that's my quarterback" is itself Hall of Infamy worthy.
- Aaron Hernandez - Tight End - New England Patriots. Infamous for: Having a very successful career with the preeminent franchise in the league interrupted by some pesky murder charges and ultimately pulling a Lawrence Phillips. It's truly amazing to think about how successful Hernandez was at every level of football, all while being an unrepentant criminal running wild through anyone in his way. The guy had a 376-yd. receiving game in high school, he helped Florida to a national title and was the best TE in all of college, winning the John Mackey Award in 2009, and as a Patriot, he tag teamed with Rob Gronkowski to create the most productive TE tandem the sport has ever seen. But Hernandez had many well-documented run-ins with the law dating back to his reign of terror at Florida, including accusations of multiple shootings that didn't rise to the level of putting him behind bars thanks to his attorneys. It all finally caught up on June 26, 2013, when Hernandez was arrested for the murder of Odin Lloyd, and the Pats cut him later that same day. He was found guilty in 2015 and was sentenced to life without parole. But because he was on such a rampage, there would be another double-murder for him to stand trial against. Hernandez was acquitted on those charges on April 14, 2017, and in an odd celebration, decided to hang himself five days later. That act ended the reign of terror of one of the most infamous stars the NFL has ever had. He was only 27 when he offed himself, yet Aaron Hernandez had forever made an imprint on the lives of anyone who saw him play, and unfortunately, anyone who came across him off the field.
- "Hello? You play to win the game!"
This entrant into the Jim Mora Wing of quotes is an all-timer. Herm Edwards, who had an infamous playing career thanks to the Pisarcik Play, was in the midst of an infamous coaching career with the New York Jets. After a loss to the Browns, the Jets were 2-5 in 2002, and a reporter asked Herm about getting something out of the losses since they couldn't, you know, get the win. And Herm proceeded to emotionally let everyone know what the point of playing is supposed to be. It's been quoted many times since, in commercials, as the title of Edwards' book, on talk shows, and here at IMLD countless times. I even named my fantasy team after the quote once, and an asshole in the league named Jimbo referred to me as "You Gay To Win The Game," which I'm sure he thought was incredibly clever but just made me roll my eyes. An interesting sidenote about Herm's rant is that Gang Green rallied to win seven of nine and take the AFC East title, so maybe the squad listened and took the speech to heart? We still laugh at crazy ol' Herm today, but it looks like he's had the last laugh all along.
- Sam Hurd - Wide Receiver - Dallas Cowboys, mostly. Infamous for: Creating a wholesome image while running a drug cartel. I link to Sam Hurd's Wiki but also to a very in-depth piece by SI's Michael McKnight that contains lots of fascinating details about Hurd's double life and the night he was busted in an undercover operation at Morton's, an upscale Chicago steakhouse. Hurd was a nondescript 4th or 5th WR with the Cowboys for a few years before signing with the Chicago Bears in 2011. But he never got the chance to make a real impact on the field for the Bears. Like Aaron Hernandez, those pesky things we call laws got in the way of his playing career. Hurd was known to outsiders as the guy you'd want an athlete to be--hard-working, humble, quiet, married to his college sweetheart, religious tattoos, staying out of trouble. What people didn't see was the high-grade marijuana addiction that led to him becoming the conduit between the good weed and many players and teammates. In 2011, Hurd was experiencing free agency and the NFL lockout, and he decided to branch out his drug purchasing power to include kilos of cocaine. Whether it was his idea or someone else's, ultimately Hurd walked into that Morton's and walked out with a brick of coke in a bag, and was immediately arrested as part of a federal sting operation. The evidence had him looking at a life sentence, but in 2013 he got a mere 15 years. But Hurd's name is forever in the mud as the guy who made it to the highest football league in the world and then got mixed up with Mexican drug movers. As the SI piece's headline says, Sam Hurd wound up breaking real bad.
And with that, we're done! Wait, that's only four inductions. So...we're not done? Well, here's a word from a sponsor (NOT affiliated with IMLD in any way) while I figure out a way to finish this year's inductions...
- "Now I'm done!" Now we can declare this year's Hall of Infamy inductions complete. Ever since the awful Brady Quinn filmed this spot for some supplement company, Jay and I have not stopped laughing. Think about it: A 1st-round pick of the Cleveland Browns (sorry, Browns fans, but your team really needs to stop taking shitty QBs in the 1st round) who put up a passer rating of 67.2 in his only full year as a starter has the nerve to release a commercial suggesting that his training in order to produce that feces didn't stop until he took that supplement? You'd think the company wouldn't want it suggested that their product was the last thing Quinn ingested before he took the field. So for over a decade now, the running gag has been to declare "Now I'm done" when one of us has finished ranting or yapping about a topic or doing something not particularly skillful, as a way to joke about how it must feel to be a guy supremely proud of his failures, blissfully unaware of how ridiculous he sounds. But Quinn has one lasting legacy besides this induction into the Jim Mora Wing: "Now I'm done" is, according to the all-knowing source of information Urbandictionary.com, what guys are supposed to yell after nailing a chick. They even use it in a sentence: "Dude I fucked the hell out of Andrea last night and totally Brady Quinned her!!" And do you think Quinn takes more pride in that or his actual NFL career? I rest my case. Or should I say...ah, you know the rest.
And that's the 8th annual NFL Hall of Infamy inductions. To hear the induction show, find In Much Less Detail: The Podcast wherever you find podcasts and subscribe, or just click here: IMLD's 2018 Hall of Infamy Induction Show. As always, thanks for reading!
