- So what's my Quit List look like? The Fed Ex Mail-It-In list of teams that appear to have quit this season and will not be picked by me the rest of the year is currently: Panthers, 49ers, Bengals, Redskins, and whomever's lucky enough to lose in Week 14 between the Broncos and the Cardinals.
- Not only did the Texans-Eagles game go almost exactly how I thought it would (scoring back and forth, up and down the field like a scrimmage) but I almost nailed the final score as well. Houston failed to get one more score to cover the number for us only because QB Matt Schaub got stripped on his last drive, not because the Philly D stepped up and shut the Texans down. The only thing that struck me as something to take away from the game, besides the fact that Eagles RB LeSean McCoy is the man, is that QB Michael Vick can't possibly survive the rest of the season and playoffs in one piece. He's starting to slow down on those escapes from the pocket, and he's getting pounded as a result. And that wasn't a great defense mashing his ass and making him limp off the field Thursday, that was the fucking Houston Texans. Not good at all.
- Tennessee's on the watch list to maybe start mailing it in, seeing as they have managed to go 13 quarters without an offensive TD. Boy, that Moss guy is sure making a difference. How did Jacksonville win with only 126 yards in the air? Well, when you run for 258 on the ground, that helps. ESPN Football Today podcast host Ross Tucker thinks this is it for Jeff Fisher in Nashville, that he'll walk away at season's end. I can see it happening. And Jerry Jones is on his knees praying that it happens so that he can bring Fisher down to Big D.
- 200 yards rushing by the Giants? 4 rushing TDs? New York up 21-0 at the half and 28-0 in the 3rd? Man, Washington could have used someone to help even the odds. A big run stuffing DT, perhaps. I hear they gave $100 million to someone named Albert Haynesworth. Maybe they could have played him Sunday if the Redskins head coach wasn't a complete tool. And today, said tool Mike Shanahan attempted to suspend Haynesworth without pay for the rest of the year, which I think is going to get reversed because Haynesworth didn't kill anyone or get any warnings that his conduct was so detrimental that he was risking suspension. Basically, Shanny threw a hissy fit and tried to pull a Childress and throw someone off the team for not having a nice attitude. Some of these coaches think they're God, and they're the farthest thing from it.
- Miami tripped and fell all over themselves against Cleveland, and they fell right out of playoff contention in losing their 5th home game in 6 tries. The short crossing routes that QB Chad Henne had success with last week didn't work so well this week because receivers were tripping and messing up routes, and because the few times the Dolphins attempted to go deep, Henne overthrew or underthrew his man and got picked. Guess Miami got it right when they tried to demote Henne only to watch every other QB in the organization catch SARS or get hit by a bus.
- Drew Stanton ran a TD in for the Lions against the Bears and decided to use his end zone time to premiere worldwide for the 1st time, the White Boy Dougie. I knew Detroit was going to lose the moment he did that. A bad roughness penalty call against Ndamukong Suh helped immensely, as the Lions DT clubbed a scrambling Jay Cutler from behind with such force that the referee nervously and incorrectly called Suh for a blow to the back of the head. The Lions and coach Jim Schwartz seemed to lose their poise after that, and the Bears scored the game winning TD on the next play. So that's 0-2 straight up for me picking Detroit to upset Chicago this year. But that's 2-0 ATS. I'll take it!
- That's all for Josh McDaniels, the Boy Wonder who started his coaching career 6-0 with the Denver Broncos and proceeded to wreck the whole fucking franchise from that moment forward. That was not 2 MENSA members meeting in Kansas City when McDaniels went up against Todd Haley and the Chiefs. Haley passed on a FG to put his team up 2 possessions in the 3rd quarter up 10-3 with 4th down at the Denver 2. The result? A QB sack, turnover on downs. But Josh and Air Orton couldn't take advantage because apparently the aircraft doesn't fly in cold weather. I did enjoy the return of the familiar awful Chiefs run defense, which had been quite good this year. They got sliced for 161 yards on the ground by the previously terrible Knowshon Moreno. I'll look forward to an effort just like that by the KC defense if they make the playoffs.
- Rex Grossman's mama must have been a ho, because he has a half-brother he never knew about named Tarvaris. Those throws he made were very Grossmanian, appearing to close his eyes and fling the rock into double coverage as far as he could off one foot. But one of those throws somehow was "caught" by Sidney Rice, as the refs ruled that his simultaneous catch along with a Buffalo DB was a TD for Minnesota. Rice made every catch that he could, making Tarvaris Jackson's emergency play appear much better than it was. The usual Bills comeback to cover the number didn't happen because the Vikings defensive line, AWOL much of the year, showed up, and because Adrian Peterson is a beast. Makes you wonder--did Rice and the D-line play hard for Tarvaris, to show that they had his back while he spelled the Little Wrangler? Or is Leslie Frazier motivating them to give him some love for replacing Chilly?
- The cold weather didn't slow down the offense in the Saints-Bengals matchup, and the Bengals almost pulled out the upset. Pat Sims, however, remembered just in time that he's a Bungle. New Orleans had FG range to tie the game late in the 4th quarter, but on 4th and a yard, instead of sending out the special teams, they decided for the hell of it to try and draw a defender offsides with a hard count to get a cheap 1st down. Sims was the defender who fell for it, and the Saints got the game-winning TD on the next play. Hey, Cincy had to invent a new way to lose since they were running out of ideas.
- Philip Rivers and Peyton Manning need to skip practice this week and instead invite their receivers out to dinner every night to introduce them to each other. San Diego and Indy are both having severe offensive struggles, and it's my observation that both QBs don't have any confidence whatsoever in their WRs and their ability to be in the right place at the right time. The Chargers' pass catchers were constantly in the same general area, resulting in confusion and passes whizzing past their heads. That didn't account for Oakland's 28 points, though--credit for that goes to the RBs and the offensive line. The Raiders came into San Diego 5th in rush offense, and dammit if they didn't prove why they rank that high.
- The Colts, meanwhile, are under the microscope as people start to speculate whether Manning might be done or hiding an injury or something. There's really no special explanation needed for Peyton's recent misery. His rhythm is totally off kilter because his receivers aren't running smooth routes. Almost all of his 11 picks over the last 3 games have been a result of Manning clearly waiting several beats longer than usual to see if his intended target knows where the hell he's running, and the staredown gives the DB or LB time to jump in front of the ball. Indy had to make a last gasp drive just to tie the game at 35 and send it to OT, and if you saw that drive, you saw Manning hooking up over and over with trusted WR Reggie Wayne, and Dallas couldn't stop it. Peyton didn't look like he needed to retire then. Unfortunately, he stared down another receiver in OT and threw another pick, setting the Cowboys up for the winning FG. I still have confidence that he will get on the same page with his guys and look much better, starting Thursday against Tennessee and its 26th-ranked pass defense.
- One team had a 10-point lead late in Tampa. But the other team wound up winning. One team leads the conference with a 10-2 record, the other hasn't beaten a team with a winning record this season. The Falcons and the Buccaneers have truly earned their respective places in the NFC.
- Carolina led Seattle 14-3 at halftime. Then John Fox gave a great motivational speech reminding the Panthers that they're in prime position for a #1 overall draft pick so long as they don't fuck it up. They got outscored in the 2nd half 28-0. Nice work, Fox. Nice work.
- Arizona led St. Louis 6-0 in the 1st quarter, but they didn't need a speech to give that up. They recognized their putrid potential all by themselves. And there might be yet another unheard-of QB starting for the Cards next week. If he winds up being the answer and going on a run to end the season, that would be just perfect.
- A typical defensive bloody battle between Pittsburgh and Baltimore is won by those familiar playmakers Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger. Big Ben got whacked in the schnoz and played through the broken nose and heavily wrapped foot, throwing the game-winning TD. They got that possession because DB Polamalu came flying in on a blitz and knocked the ball out of QB Joe Flacco's hands, causing a huge Ravens turnover. It's a cliche, but it's true: Big players really do make big plays.
- And speaking of big players, what to say about Tom Brady? He and the Pats were ready to play Monday night, and Mark Sanchez and the Jets were not ready for prime time. Some of those Sanchez throws weren't anywhere near the intended receiver. Can the California pretty boy get it done in the elements? It wasn't snowing, but it was awfully cold and windy in Massachusetts. The Jets weren't relying on Sanchez to cut through the wind and cold last year on their playoff run because their defense was dominant. That's not the case this year. New York's pass defense was #1 last year, giving up only 5.4 yards per attempt. After the alley beating Brady just gave them, the Jets rank #14 in total yards and they're giving up 6.7 yards per attempt. Ruh roh.
Week 13 Records--Dre 10-6, .625; Jay 5-11, .313
YTD Records--Dre102-88-2, .537; Jay 97-93-2, .511
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