- Games in no detail: Buccaneers-Packers (that Green Bay D is gonna cost them a game or two before the season's over), Bills-Dolphins (no resistance by Buffalo the last three weeks running now), Seahawks-Rams (Steven Jackson shut down equals easy Seattle win), Chiefs-Patriots (a massacre as expected).
- I'm starting to run out of adjectives to describe Denver Broncos football under Tim Tebow. Abomination. Dreadful. Vomit-inducing. "But he's a winner!" Yeah, except when he doesn't win. He's up to 4-1 now as a starter after the New York Jets caved last Thursday night, and the Jets are the best team he's beaten. And I'm now convinced that the Jets aren't any good. So Tebow's wins are over the Jets, Raiders, Chiefs, and Dolphins. Really? Anyway, the game was a total eyesore, two quarterbacks bumbling and fumbling around until one ran through the vaunted Jets D on a 95-yard drive to win the game. The funniest scene was Denver exec John Elway clapping in his suite after Tebow's game-winning TD run, while everyone could read the thought bubble over his head: "I can't believe this faggot just won the game like that..." As for the Jets, they can fuck off. Rex Ryan, his wife, Total Fraud, the whole lot of 'em. They will never amount to anything. You do not shoot off your mouth for years about your great defense and then let a guy who can't throw beat you. They oughta be ashamed of themselves.
- Oh, that Panthers D. Carolina sprinted out to a big lead in Detroit, and I thought I had an upset pick all sewn up. But Matthew Stafford and, of all people, RB Kevin Smith picked it up and came back and knocked off the Panthers by racking up seven--seven!!--TDs. Some of those were set up by Cam Newton INTs (he really needs to avoid the deep middle), but really, if Carolina had any kind of defensive principles, the Lions would have been routed. It's never a good sign when your defense has guys taking a knee between plays in the 2nd quarter. It's so odd because coach Ron Rivera was widely praised for assembling the #1 defense in the league last year in San Diego. So far, the magic has not followed him to Charlotte.
- Move along folks, nothing new of note in the Cowboys-Redskins game. Rex Grossman gave Washington a chance with his arm because he's much better at QB than John Beck, Dallas came back on the Skins D because they can't cover nor tackle, back and forth they went, Washington actually had the game won in OT except the kicker gagged, and Dallas wound up with the win. I said I was scared of this pick because of Grossman, and I should have been. The Cowboys and Redskins are who we thought they were.
- In order for Maurice Jones-Drew to lead the Jaguars to a win over the Browns, two things had to happen: 1, the Jacksonville defense couldn't let Cleveland actually have the more productive runner, and 2, the Jags had to use MJD when they absolutely needed him the most, which was at the Browns 3-yard line with the clock expiring. But something named Chris Ogbonnaya outrushed Pocket Hercules, and rookie QB Blaine Gabbert had several chances to score the winning TD but failed on all of his throws. They never thought to run Jones-Drew and try to score that way, and that's how the #31 offense in the NFL loses to the #32 offense. Pathetic.
- And in order for the Vikings to knock off the Raiders, Adrian Peterson would probably have had to have a huge day running the ball, but he hurt himself in the 1st fucking quarter. I didn't lose the pick just because of that, though. Minnesota lost to Oakland because their pass defense was absolutely terrible. When Jared Allen doesn't have a good day rushing the passer, the Vikings are just horrendous trying to defend the air attack. Minnesota racked up a bunch of turnovers as well, helping Oakland to a short field for many of their scoring drives. The Christian Ponder comeback attempt was interesting to watch because he displayed better running skill and speed than any of Peterson's replacements. But they came up short. I'm still not a Carson Palmer fan.
- I have to once again tip my cap to the Cincinnati Bengals, who made a good showing of themselves against better competition than they have faced in the first half of the season. Baltimore took advantage of Bengals CB Leon Hall's absence to pick apart the Cincy secondary. Any time Joe Flacco needed a big play, he took it by launching the ball to Anquan Boldin or Torrey Smith. Cincy's QB, Andy Dalton, is really impressing me. In a very hostile environment and missing his best WR, A.J. Green, Dalton made smart plays when in trouble to get rid of the ball and survive to make a play on the next snap. He's not dumb, you gotta give him that. And he made great use of the WRs left over, like Jerome Simpson and Andre Caldwell. The three-play sequence to start the 4th quarter would crush any team's spirit. The Bengals tried to run an option because they think Dalton's Tim Tebow apparently, and that didn't work; Dalton then threw an INT; and Flacco immediately went deep on play action to Smith for a long TD. And yet, Cincinnati was right there at the end, driving for the tying TD. But the Baltimore D was suffocating and kept sacking Dalton over and over until there was no time left. A tough loss, but I think Cincy will stick around in the playoff race for a very long time.
- Another ho-hum trouncing of a bad team by San Francisco as they prepare to visit the saner Harbaugh on Thanksgiving night. I only want to go into detail about one aspect of this one: What happens if Alex Smith actually finds a rhythm with Michael Crabtree? How good is SF at that point? Crabtree has been injured slash ineffective for most of his career, but in this game he goes 7 catches for 120. If he ever puts it all together, that's trouble.
- How about Jason and me pulling a win-cover combo out of our asses in the Tennessee-Atlanta game? Rarely do we both nail a game where we take the favorite to win but the underdog to cover. How did it happen when the Titans were so far behind most of the game? Jake Locker, baby! Titans QB Matt Hasselbeck got his elbow tweaked in the 3rd quarter trying to lead a comeback that was sure to fail because he was off rhythm all game. But then Locker comes in and provides a missing element, which is, he can move in the pocket laterally and avoid the Falcons pass rush, allowing receivers to get open on broken coverage. There was once again no running game to balance things for Tennessee, so this kid was going to be the only way they mounted a comeback, and he couldn't finish the job only because the D let Atlanta run out the clock. I vote Locker to start the rest of the season myself. Why the fuck not?
- The only thing people will talk about after the San Diego-Chicago game is how screwed the Bears are now that Jay Cutler will be lost for the rest of the year with a broken thumb. The game was something to behold because it was two gunslingers in Cutler and Philip Rivers renewing an old rivalry and just scorching the opposing secondaries. I wasn't taking Chicago to go far in the playoffs anyway because they give up so many yards in an attempt to not give up big plays behind them. But they can still be very dangerous because of how well-coached the defenders are at creating takeaways. As for the Chargers, they appear to be beyond screwed, but that division is very winnable, and Rivers and WR Vincent Jackson may finally be getting on the same page.
- I wonder how Jason will justify that Eagles win over the Giants on Sunday night. The joy of picking games out of your ass "because it makes no sense" is that you don't have to justify it. But I'll try to make sense of it anyway. Those crappy, Tebow-like, fluttering, limp-wristed throws from Philadelphia QB Vince Young went well for the Eagles because most of them were underneath and the New York linebackers seemed to have no clue how to defend them. Young wasn't able to get many throws far downfield, but the likes of Brent Celek and Riley Cooper were having a ball catching shit under the Giants coverage and taking the balls a long way. That was just bad football by Young. And he won. So you can imagine how bad the Giants and Eli Manning played. Manning made a big downfield throw trying to mount a comeback on his last drive, and the very next play, he got blowed up and fumbled the ball. Fuck. And a fantasy element to this game as well for me: I lost this week to Jason's mom, and by only 3 points. I had Eli Manning, who played like shit except when he was finding Victor Cruz for big plays. I own Victor Cruz. He was chillin' on my bench for this game. Oops. And that wasn't even the killer. The killer was the fact that I also own LeSean McCoy, who broke out with a huge run at the end of the game that saw him reach the NY 2-yard line...and then get shoestring-tackled before he could score. Philly then kneeled to end the game. Excruciating night for me all around.
Week 11 Records--Dre 6-7-1, .462; Jay 9-4-1, .692
YTD Records--Dre 68-85-7, .444; Jay 78-75-7, .510
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