Week 11 ATS Recap: Blount Force Trauma

Dre went back to his stats this week. It showed.

• Broncos (+6) 17, Jets 13 (Thursday) - Jason winner, Dre loser - A pregame poll on NFL Network asked which starting QB in this game you'd rather have...Jesus or Total Fraud? Tebow got 70% of the vote. Not exactly a vote of confidence for the Sanchize. As it's been going, Tebow looked putrid for 55 minutes and the Bronco defense (including a monster game from Von Miller) held the Jets off balance long enough to let Tebow get one last drive. Staring at a 95 yard road to victory, and amassing just over 70 yards offense on the last 10 drives COMBINED, what do you think happened? Tebow goes the whole 95 yards, running in a TD on a scramble off a Jets all-out blitz. Nobody got home on the blitz, Tebow made one guy miss, and the Jets find their playoff hopes fizzling.


• Lions 49 (-7), Panthers 35 - Jason winner, Dre loser - The Lions did it again. Come back from a big deficit, that is. Down 24-7 early in the second quarter, the Lions unleashed 6 touchdowns over the final 33 minutes of play, including what might be one of the best fantasy efforts of all time for a player owned in no leagues. That player would be Kevin Smith, and no I'm not talking about Silent Bob. Smith went for over 200 yards of offense and 3 touchdowns. Not bad for a guy claimed off the scrap heap. Carolina competed again, staking their claim as the best 2-8 team IN HISTORY!


• Packers 35, Buccaneers 26 (+9) - Both losers - This had all the makings of a trap for the Packers heading into a big Turkey Day game at Detroit. The Pack lived up to that, allowing the Bucs to hang around until Aaron Rodgers found a streaking Jordy Nelson up the left sideline to put the dagger in Tampa. I'd rather talk about LaGarrette Blount, who did his best Marshawn Lynch impersonation on a 54 yard TD run. He had more help than Lynch, and didn't stiffarm a defender into next week like Lynch did, but wow, what an impressive run.


• Cowboys 27, Redskins 24 (+7) OT - Both losers - Looks like we misunderestimated who could be the stoopider team on Sunday.


• Dolphins 35 (-1½), Bills 8 - Both winners - OK, we figured the Bills were on their way to irrelevance for the season. But I didn't see it playing out like THIS! Miami, save for a putrid collapse against Denver, has played almost 4 solid games in a row, and it wouldn't shock me if Miami is ahead of Buffalo in the standings come seasons end.


• Browns 14 (-1), Jaguars 10 - Jason winner, Dre loser


• Raiders 27 (+1), Vikings 20 - Jason winner, Dre loser - Memo to the Vikings: don't expect to win many games when you turn it over 5 times AND lose your best player to an ankle injury. That being said, the Vikes made a valiant second half surge to make this game much more competetive than it needed to be. And thanks to Oakland, for saving us a week of "Tebow is in first place" madness.


• Ravens 31, Bengals 24 - PUSH - The Bengals put up almost 500 yards of offense on a Ray-Ray-less Raven D. Andy Dalton threw for 373 yards without his best receiver in A.J. Green. So how'd Cincy lose? As is almost always the case, the turnover bug plagued the Bengals, and Baltimore did just enough with them to escape with a win.


• Seahawks 24 (+3), Rams 7 - Dre winner, Jason loser - I called this one for the Rams, citing they had the best player on the field in Steven Jackson (I stole Dre's strategy). It failed, as on this day, the Rams were no match for Beast Mode himself, and Tavaris Jackson won the battle of who could suck less between he and Sam Bradford.


• Niners 23 (-10), Cardinals 7 - Both winners - San Fran's offense and special teams looked awful for the first half, allowing the Cards to hang around a bit. Unfortunately for the Cards offense, they had to occupy the same field as the Niner defense, who abused the boys from the desert just about they way Dre and I thought they would.


• Falcons 23, Titans 17 (+6½) - Both winners - Credit where credit is due. Dre and I almost NEVER win these picks where we pick a team to win but NOT to cover. Not only did the Falcons not cover, it was the Friendly Neighborhood Hook that provided us with an oh-so-cheap win. Thanks, Jake Locker. Locker, spelling an injured Matt Hasselbeck, brought the Titans back from a big deficit and got a nice late TD to cover the number. Once the Falcons knocked Hasselbeck out, you could almost see them take the foot off the accelerator, put on the cruise control, and hang on for dear life as Locker led the failed comeback.


• Bears 31 (-3½), Chargers 20 - Dre winner, Jason loser - Just about the time I jump off the Bears, Dre jumps on them, and promptly breaks Jay Cutler's thumb. Nice work, Dre. So I'm wondering, where are all the "Jay Cutler is a pussy" tweets? And to Bear fans whining about Cutler being out, this is what you wanted isn't it? Caleb Hanie taking meaningful snaps? Good luck with that.


• Eagles 17 (+5½), Giants 10 - Jason winner, Dre loser - No Vick? No Maclin? Vince Young starting? Load me up on the Eagles, baby! The more things went wrong for the "Dream Team," the more I loved them this week. There was ZERO pressure on Philly perform, so they did. The offense moved the ball well enough, and the Eagle disappearing run defense held the Giants to 30 yards on the ground. The Eagles also went back to their best player on offense, LeSean McCoy, to pound it out on the ground. Maybe Vick going down was good for the Eagles? For one week, it was.


• Patriots 34 (-14½), Chiefs 3 - Both winners - I could sum up this entire matchup in two words: Tyler Palko.

With a 9-4-1 effort, I once again escape "Expert" territory and get back over .500 for the season, while Dre's comeback stalled for a week, giving back all the ground he gained in week 10, going 6-7-1.