2010 Week 2: What I Learned

• Quit making fun of Jason's fantasy draft picks because they always have career games against me.
• Perhaps the Bengals' D should get more respect.  One of their strengths coming into the season was the talented secondary, and 4 interceptions of Ravens QB Joe Flacco later, Cincy is able to overcome zero touchdowns to beat Baltimore.  Hold off on the Chad Johnson-Terrell Owens tweets about the ineffectiveness of Carson Palmer.  Everything is sunshine and balloons after a win.
• Who's ready to buy the 2010 Vikings season highlights DVD?  I've already got the title:  "Missed Connections."  QB Brett Favre has no chemistry with seemingly any of his receivers save for TE Visanthe Shiancoe.  Every bomb he throws is incomplete, every short throw seems to be in danger of being intercepted, and the Vikings couldn't overcome RB Adrian Peterson trying to carry the team on his back.  In short, Minnesota looks fucked with a capital dick.  Again, credit is due to a young and talented secondary for Sunday's win, this one being the Miami Dolphins.  Keep one eye on them when checking out the Fins, and another on LT Jake Long, who may be the best tackle in the league judging from the way he shut down Minny sackmaster Jared Allen.
• What an outstanding job of adjusting to the situation in front of their faces by the Chicago Bears offense and its coordinator Mike Martz.  QB Jay Cutler was being mauled by DeMarcus Ware and a Dallas pass rush hungry and mad from their opening loss to Washington.  So the 3rd quarter featured much quick slants and timing patterns by the Bears, utilizing any receiver close to the line of scrimmage as an outlet to get rid of the damn ball before Cutler could get annihilated again.  And when the Cowboys tried to counter and play closer to the line, Cutler launched big bombs down the field to set up scores in the 4th quarter and put the game away.  I can't wait for the rest of the season to unfold so I can find out if the Bears are really that smart or if the Cowboys are really that dumb.
• I was right about the Detroit Lions running game having some room to operate, although RB Jahvid Best did most of his damage catching balls out of the backfield.  I wish I was wrong about it because Best was Jason's 3rd round fantasy pick, and he bent me over Sunday like I was his prison bitch.  Yet the Eagles had the winning ground game with LeSean McCoy going off, and that's thanks to QB Michael Vick and his big arm.  It's easy to forget that Vick can throw the pill really far because he's such a threat with his feet, and once he started slinging it around in the air--including a long TD to DeSean Jackson--Detroit had to respect the passing game, allowing McCoy to rack up the rushing yards (120) and the TDs (3).
• The Cardinals simply had no answer for Atlanta's running game, giving up chunks of yardage to Michael Turner in the 1st half, and after he got hurt, to his backup Jason Snelling in the 2nd half.  Arizona had a legendarily bad road record the last few years before Kurt Warner led them to a 6-2 mark last year.  Kurt Warner ain't walking through that door.
• 3 sacks for one man in the first 2 games of the season.  This just in:  Clay Matthews is a beast.
• Get That Dang Negro QB Out of the Game Even Though It's Only Week 2, Part I:  Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher witnesses Vince Young--who only saved Fisher's job last year by stepping in and almost leading the Titans to the playoffs after an atrocious start--struggling against arguably the best defense in the league, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and something crawls into his head to make him think that 72-year-old Kerry Collins could fare better.  Dead-ass wrong, Jeffy.  Kerry Collins??  Versus that Steelers D??  That was going to lead you to victory??  Really?!
• It's going to be a long season for Carolina if they're going to tackle like that.  Lots of guys slipping through defenders' hands contributed to the embarrassing home loss to the great Josh Freeman and a 2-0 Tampa Bay squad.  The Panthers, apparently just now figuring out that Matt Moore sucks, will give Notre Dame "star" Jimmy Clausen a go at QB.  Let's hope for his sake that Clausen doesn't show up for Sunday's game in a limo.
• Get That Dang Negro QB Out of the Game Even Though It's Only Week 2, Part II:  Okay, this is ridiculous.  The Raiders just acquired Jason Campbell this past offseason as a panacea to their QB woes.  So coach Tom Cable takes a minute after beating up another woman to decide that Campbell needed to benched in the 2nd half for Bruce Gradkowski.  Really??  Now, Bruce Almighty did throw what turned out to be the game-winning TD.  But I must point out two things that make this move absurd in addition to the fact that, hello, it's only Week 2:  1, Bruce pulled off the win against the St. Louis Rams, which is nothing to brag about. 2, Campbell's stats at the time of his benching:  8-15-87 yds, INT.  He's only thrown one pick and his completion rate is over 50%.  This constitutes the need for a benching now?  Really??  Hey, Tom, was it worth it to place doubt in the QB who you just picked up a few months ago?  You're a dope.
• Nice showing by the Denver Broncos, taking the obviously less talented Seahawks to the woodshed.  An injured Denver WR decided to invent a strange new victory celebration--insert gun into mouth and pull.  (I know, waaaay too soon.)
• Maybe Jason's premature sighting in Houston of a new set of Triplets is for reals?  The Redskins don't allow Arian Foster to run roughshod over them, so Matt Schaub remembers that he can throw to these awesome WRs, and 38 completions and 497 yards later, the Texans overcame a 17-point deficit and beat Washington in OT.  Oh, and a great freezing timeout by Houston coach Gary Kubiak, nullifying a game-winning FG by the Skins kicker from 53 yards away.  He missed the re-try, and the Texans won on the ensuing possession.  Some people scream that there should be a change to the rules to stop coaches from calling timeout a split second before a kick.  I don't have a problem with the timeouts at all.  I don't see why coaches should be allowed to call timeout right before any play is run except a FG try, and I don't see why special teams coaches can't counter the freeze move if they want by changing the tempo of a kick sequence.  They don't have to have the kicker take his steps back, then two to the left, then several seconds making sure everyone is set before the snap.  They can make it tighter and shorten the number of seconds in order to get the kick off before the coach calls timeout.  But I'm solidly against changing the rule.  Besides, sometimes the kicker misses the first and makes the second, so it doesn't always work out anyway.
• Get That Dang Negro QB Out of the Game Even Though It's Only Week 2, Part III:  Jacksonville's David Garrard is told to take a seat in the middle of their blowout at the hands of the Chargers, who apparently needed a bad loss to KC to get their shit together.  Yeah, Luke McCown was going to bring the Jaguars back to steal this victory.  Luke McCown??  Really??  In other news, it was Black QB Lynching Day in the NFL.  Curiously, no press releases were sent out in honor of this glorious day.
• Randy Moss pissed all over Revis Island in one of the great fake-outs and catches you will ever see.  But the Jets managed to beat the Patriots anyway because the New England secondary is atrocious.  Seriously, multiple pass interference calls, fluttering balls thrown by Mark Sanchez that floated in the air for about four and a half minutes before coming down in his receiver's hands...the Pats should be ashamed that they allowed a come-from-behind win to that crappy offense.
• That Colts pass rush was unstoppable Sunday night.  Eli Manning surely saw Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis in his nightmares after the game.  Among the chaos, however, the Giants running game was defined for anyone wondering:  Ahmad Bradshaw is the every down back, and Brandon Jacobs will no longer be a Giant very, very soon.
• Mike Singletary: still psycho.  The San Fran coach almost ate a referee's head after screaming to get his attention to call a 4th quarter timeout.  But he had his team playing hard against the world champion Saints, and the Niners pulled off a late drive and 2-point conversion to tie the game and thrill the home crowd.  So, SF played inspired.  New Orleans?  They played like champions, with QB Drew Brees calmly leading the Saints down the field to set up the game-winning FG.  That's the difference between champs and wannabes.  No one in their right minds believed that San Fran was going to win that game, even after they tied it.  The Saints offense with time on the clock was a lock to get the job done.