2010 Week 3: What I Learned

• Listen to Jason when he suggests the day before the games that we flip all of our picks over and just take the opposite of what we like.  And don't ever take that many fucking favorites in the parity-laden NFL again.
• Coach Psycho is in trouble.  Mike Singletary can't seem to get his 49ers going in the right direction no matter how bug-eyed and crazy he gets.  He rushes to the defense of his horrible offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye after last week's reports of plays not being called in a timely fashion and mass confusion in the offensive huddle.  He gets the TV reporter who dared question his coordinator's effectiveness fired, er, "reassigned," and the next week, he fires the same coordinator.  Wow.  Singletary appears from the outside to be totally in over his head trying to coach an NFL team purely on emotion and fire and passion.  If San Francisco fails to make the playoffs, ol' Bug Eyes will be out, I believe.
• Cincinnati will win games this season despite QB Carson Palmer, not because of him.  His arm seems to be gone.  His accuracy is nonexistent.  His beard is weird, and his stache is trash.  He needs either retirement or Just For Men hair gel, I'm not sure which.
• The major upset of the week wasn't a game result, it was a white RB stepping all over the Baltimore Ravens defense.  Peyton Hillis was the sole reason the Browns stayed close enough to cover in Baltimore, rendering Anquan Boldin's breakout performance (3 TD) great for the purposes of a team win, but useless for those who bet the Ravens to win by two TDs.
• Brett Favre continues to look off kilter for the Vikings, but they won and covered using a very simple formula:  Dominate by running with Adrian Peterson, then play-action and hit wide open receivers for big plays.  It would seem that the teams that can handle Peterson can handle the Vikings, until Captain Wrangler works out the kinks and is able to win games through the air again.
• Congrats to the New York Giants, who may have played the most undisciplined team game I've ever seen.  You got Eli Manning throwing a desperation ball into the end zone with his left hand, resulting in an interception.  You got 5 personal fouls on the Giants during their game with the Titans.  You got veterans David Diehl and Kareem McKenzie committing such blatant personal fouls that coach Tom Coughlin said the hell with it and pulled them out of the game.  You got the Giants staying right there within a score of the Titans due to outgaining them in yardage by 200 yards!  But they let it slip away in the end, and now Coughlin may have his seat start to get warm on him again after surviving a few years ago when New York won the Super Bowl and earned him a new contract.  This time, he won't be so lucky.
• Gotta love old QBs who throw TD passes to guys who are double covered, including one that went right off the fingertips of a defender and into the receiver's hands.  Pittsburgh's Charlie Batch had one more start to make in his NFL career, and he made it count.  WRs covered downfield?  He didn't give a fuck.  And as a result, Mike Wallace has two more TD catches then he deserves.
• The Falcons-Saints game was especially painful to lose because it played out with no surprises--two offenses making their way up and down the field, and the Saints wound up with the game in their hands.  They should have taken a victory in overtime and given Jason and me a push, but Saints kicker Garrett Hartley hooked a 29-yard FG wide left, and Atlanta went on to victory.  Hope your resume is up to date, Mr. Hartley.  And by the way, for those who hate the timeout that freezes the kicker right before the kick, it backfired in this one.  Falcons K Matt Bryant had his 46-yard FG initially blocked, but because Saints coach Sean Payton got the timeout in right before the kick, Bryant got another shot, and he nailed it for the win.  I really don't know why some people scream so loud for the rule to be changed so that you can't call a FG freezeout TO, but they surely can't say it's because it always gives an unfair advantage to the team calling it.  In this case, it may have cost that team a victory.
• New England scored 38 freaking points and couldn't cover over Buffalo.  Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick showed some arm, RB C.J. Spiller showed some speed, and the Pats showed why their defense will cost them dearly when it's crunch time.
• Welcome the Dallas Cowboys to the 2010 season, which apparently started while they were still on summer vacation.  They showed what happens when DeMarcus Ware and the Dallas D come to play, along with forgotten WR Roy Williams and the running game, which went over 100 yards as a team.  The question is, how many games will all of those phases shine for the Cowboys at the same time?
• You know, when I gather all of the books chronicling our picks over the years, I'll have to investigate the old Philadelphia Eagles and how I did picking their games.  My memory tells me that I was never any good picking their game because Donovan McNabb was so maddeningly inconsistent.  And there he was Sunday in a Redskins jersey finding a way to lose to a rookie QB and the woeful St. Louis Rams a week after holding a 17-point lead against the vastly superior Houston Texans.  Washington had the Rams down in this game in the 4th quarter and couldn't finish either.  And now they go to Philly next week for the return of McNabb to the City of Brotherly Love.  The Eagles are undefeated with Michael Vick as starter, aren't they?  Should be a squoosh for Vick and the Birds, right?  Right??
• Speaking of which, this just in:  Michael Vick likes freedom and enjoys scoring touchdowns for an NFL team and not the Folsom City Prison Shankmasters.
• Man, Philip Rivers tried like hell to beat the Seattle Seahawks by himself, throwing for 455 yards while still missing his best receiver, holdout Vincent Jackson.  But he can't overcome something that's going to haunt the San Diego Chargers all year--their special teams.  A punt return for a TD against the Chefs in the Monday night opener, and a 7-point loss.  Two kickoff TDs for Leon Washington Sunday against Seattle, and a 7-point loss.  They got more issues than Pastor Eddie Long.  They may want to bring Jackson back ASAP, not to catch balls, but to be an outside gunner on punts.
• Another lost pick that hurts was the Broncos actually outgaining the vaunted Colts offense and not only losing the game but not covering the spread due to some nauseating play near the goal line.  A bad Kyle Orton INT reminiscent of the Eli Manning left-arm toss and a goal-line stand where new Denver RB Laurence Maroney was stopped from scoring on 4th down by a fingernail helped torpedo the Broncos' chances.  For those counting, that was 5 trips to the red zone for Denver and zero TDs.
• Nobody deserved to win the Raiders-Cardinals game, so it was fitting that the Raiders got close enough for K Sebastian Janikowski to hit a chip-shot game-winning FG and then watched him choke like a John Holmes co-star.  We should have picked the Raiders to cover 4 1/2 points because neither team is that much better or worse than the other.
• Jets QB Mark Sanchez still has a rag arm, but maybe the team has some heart after all.  Marky Mark flipped some more garbage throws up in the air, and the Miami Dolphins tripped all over themselves trying to defend them.  WR Braylon Edwards put down the Patron long enough to score a TD on a 12-yard catch that he turned and took 67 yards because his defender fell flat on his ass.  Sanchez "gunned" one of his TDs to TE Dustin Keller, but if the covering linebacker had been looking for the ball, he would have reached up and easily taken it for himself, or at least knocked it down.  And it looks like RB LaDainian Tomlinson is saving New York's bacon for the time being, because they couldn't have extended their lead and held on to survive Sunday night without his inspired running.  Shonn Greene was supposed to be the lead back for New York after they jettisoned Thomas Jones in the offseason, but he's been atrocious.  The Jets may have better odds for success than many of us thought they would, if the old LT can keep this up.
• Lots of Bears love going around for their 3-0 start.  Let's clear a couple of things up about that lucky win Monday over Green Bay: 1, they were yet another winner that was outgained in yardage during the game, and 2, his one TD pass to Greg Olson was thrown between about 47 defenders, which is NOT a good thing.  And the Bears should be very worried about Cutler making it through the whole season, as he got destroyed on a couple of hits standing in the pocket.  That offensive line still can't block for shit.  The Pack should be worried as well.  They didn't impress in their first 2 wins of the season, and now lose a big game they should have won.  Looks like they will have to wait to print up those "Division champs" t-shirts until they can get back on track.