I'm out to prove that my 8-6 record from Week 2 was no fluke. Jason's out to prove that his 2-12 mark will not prevent him from rallying and catching me. We're both out to improve on our 3-11-1 record thus far this season on games we agree. Ick. On to this week's picks:
| CAR (0-2) | 3½ | Jack (1-1) |
|
| Car | Car |
| TENN (1-1) | 6½ | Den (1-1) |
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| Den | Den |
| NO (1-1) | 4 | Hou (2-0) |
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| Hou | NO |
| Det (2-0) | 3 | MIN (0-2) |
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| Min | Det |
| PHI (1-1) | 9 | NYG (1-1) |
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| NY | NY |
| NE (2-0) | 7 | BUF (2-0) |
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| Buf | NE |
| CLE (1-1) | 1 | Mia (0-2) |
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| Mia | Cle |
| CIN (1-1) | 1½ | SF (1-1) |
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| Cin | Cin |
| NYJ (2-0) | 3 | OAK (1-1) |
|
| NY | Oak |
| Bal (1-1) | 4 | STL (0-2) |
|
| StL | Bal |
| SD (1-1) | 14½ | KC (0-2) |
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| SD | SD |
| TB (1-1) | 1 | Atl (1-1) |
|
| Atl | Atl |
| GB (2-0) | 4 | CHI (1-1) |
|
| Chi | GB |
| Ariz (1-1) | 3½ | SEA (0-2) |
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| Ariz | Sea |
| Sun. Nite |
|
|
|
|
|
| Pit (1-1) | 10½ | IND (0-2) |
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| Pit | Pit |
| Mon. Nite |
|
|
|
|
| DAL (1-1) | 5½ | Wash (2-0) |
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| Wash | Wash |
Some of our thoughts and observations included:
- It's the start of the Blaine Gabbert Era in Jacksonville! Aren't you excited? Remember, David Garrard being cut wasn't about the money, according to head coach Jack Del Rio. It was about giving Luke McCown the opportunity that he earned by being the better option. And McCown's time period to prove his worth after being named the better option? Two whole games!! Yeah, Jacksonville's a fucking mess. Jason's not impressed with Gabbert's highlight package from the preseason and practices, which seem to show that his best throw is the bubble screen. Another rookie QB, Cam Newton, will have something to show Gabbert and the horrible Jags secondary on Sunday. And it won't be just bubble screens.
- Uh oh, this is two in a row that we agree on. We'll either pull our mark up to .500 quickly, or totally torpedo it. Tennessee doesn't feel like they've earned the right to be a near TD favorite over anybody, so we have to go with the Broncos to cover, even though they're going through a horrific injury bug already. Whatever the Denver fan base makes of Kyle Orton's arm, it's not bad enough to prevent him from keeping Denver in a game against Matt Hasselbeck and the corpse of Chris Johnson.
- Ah, we'll disagree on the highly watchable Houston-New Orleans tilt. The Saints got the offense clicking last week, and Jason can't see the Texans defense shutting NO down. But they don't have to. They just have to stay within a field goal, and I think Matt Schaub and company can do that, even with Arian Foster hobbling around. Ben Tate has provided more than adequate play at RB for the Texans to compete with just about anybody.
- We both agree that Matthew "China Doll" Stafford is about due to get his head caved in, kinda like Michael Vick last week. But Minnesota has been less than impressive in blowing two leads in two weeks, so Jason will take the Lions to continue their march through the NFL in the Metrodome. I have to go with Minny because I can't imagine they would keep using their premier weapon, Adrian Peterson, and keep finding a way to waste him and lose games. Plus, we know that I still don't believe that the Lions are legit. Get a road win in the division for the first time since the American Revolution, and I'll be closer to believing.
- The New York Giants are in trouble on offense, as Eli Manning keeps losing weapons. Domenik Hixon was lost for the year last week, and Mario Manningham will miss this week's battle in Philadelphia. Michael Vick apparently won't miss it despite being knocked loopy last week in Atlanta. Jason wonders if New York will punt to DeSean Jackson this time around. I doubt it. We'll both take the Giants and those big nine points. Jason thinks Vick may be prime to get knocked out again by that nasty Giant pass rush. In addition, I think the Giants should be able to prevent a blowout by relying on their run attack against a less-than-impressive Philly linebacking group.
- The most entertaining game of Week 3 may be Tom Brady taking that fireworks show from New England on the road to Buffalo, which has scored more points than any other team through the first two weeks. Jason actually blurted out a score prediction of 51-3 when I first brought this game up! He was being hyperbolic, but despite the Bills playing at a high level, he's taking the Pats and giving the TD. Buffalo hasn't played anyone, he says, and while it's true that Oakland on a cross-country trip and Kansas City don't represent the strongest of tests, they have passed with a flourish. I can't take them to win, but I will take them to be driving for a late score attempting to win and falling just short. New England won't be able to stop the running game, especially missing DT Albert Haynesworth, and maybe Brady will fail to top 500 yards since he'll be missing one of his athletic tight ends, Aaron Hernandez.
- Miami is playing so bad according to Jason that he's going to take Colt McCoy and the Cleveland Browns to beat them. I'll take Miami simply because these are the only games they can win--road games against mediocre teams. The Dolphins just refuse to win at home, but since they're in Ohio, I think they'll pull one out.
- We'll both take Cincinnati to get it done over Coach Insane and the San Francisco 49ers. Yes, I anointed Mike Singletary Coach Psycho last year, and now I've deemed Jim Harbaugh Coach Insane. Who passes up an opportunity to shave time off the clock and drive for a backbreaking TD while in the lead? Coach Insane last week, that's who. Oh, and Bengals WR Jerome Simpson getting busted for having marijuana delivered to his front door and RB Cedric Benson being notified that he will be suspended soon for his offseason activities? You think those events will cause a distraction for Cincy? Come on, man! That's just another day in Bengal Land! Chris Henry would call it a boring day, if he were still around.
- The term "total fraud" came up when Jason and I discussed the so-far successful 3rd season for Mark Sanchez. He still looks like a deer in headlights at times, and the hype keeps coming while his New York Jets keep winning. I've heard it described so many times by media members as "Mark Sanchez has won four road playoff games," as if his stellar play was the reason and not his stellar defense. Well, get ready for more of it this week, because I'm picking the Jets to go to the Black Hole and win again to go to 3-0. Oakland clearly has decided to put their offense in motion with the running attack primarily, but this is one of the teams in the league that can potentially stuff Darren McFadden and Michael Bush. And it's yet another not-so-good secondary for Sanchez to find holes and get the ball to his guys. Jason will gleefully be a Raider fan for this one week only.
- We also disagree on Baltimore coming to St. Louis and trying to wash away the bitter taste of last week's loss to the Titans. Jason thinks that it will be Ravens squoosh. "You don't wanna be St. Louis right now," he said, shuddering at the thought of what an angry Ravens team may do to the Rams after being embarrassed in Nashville. I'll pick the Rams to cover because, well, I had a feeling Baltimore may play flat last week after such an emotional Week 1 win against the hated Steelers. But I didn't have the balls to take Tennessee. So, fuck you, faggot Ravens. I'll gleefully be a Ram fan for this one week only.
- Who can possibly build a case to pick Kansas City right now? Anyone? Jason did suggest that we may want to be cautious because it's still September, and the Chargers still don't like playing well this early in the season. Then, Jason looked up what the Chiefs have done in their last four games, including Week 17 and the playoff game last season. They've been outscored in those games 150-27! Gotta take San Diego squoosh. And with no Antonio Gates or Malcom Floyd, maybe the Bolts will focus more on their running game and less on airing it out, which is exactly what they should do in a game where the opponent is hapless and reeling. Establish the run and pound the snot out of KC.
- One more time, we will go with the Atlanta Falcons to do what they're capable of doing and beat lesser competition. Coming off that impressive comeback win over the Eagles, the Falcons travel to Tampa to play that atrocious Buccaneers defense. We'll take the Dirty Birds to leave some droppings on the pirate logo.
- Packers-Bears, arguably the best rivalry in the NFL, sees the Pack come in to Soldier Field as champions and the Bears with their heads spinning after that bad loss in New Orleans. This is just the kind of game the Bears win. No one thinks they have a chance due to their most recent performance, but somehow coach Lovie Smith finds a way to rally the troops, tweak the game plan, and put forth a much better effort. Can't argue with Jason's assertion that the Green Bay defense will go for the kill against Jay Cutler, what with the Chicago offensive line handing out sacks like bags of Halloween candy. But how can the Bears and offensive coordinator Mike Martz stay stubbornly with the long QB dropbacks after seeing Cutler get hammered last week? They adjusted last year, and they should adjust this year, too. The Bears found a way to beat Green Bay at home last year, and they could do it again. But I'll take them to at least cover the spread.
- The hook scares me, but the Seahawks scare me more. So I'll give three and a hook and take Arizona to cover at Seattle. Jason will take the Seahawks in their home opener. Seattle's home field advantage is undeniable. But so is the fact that they really, really stink.
- Speaking of really stinks, how about the Colts? They've got five prime time games to trudge through this season without their star attraction, Peyton Manning. Here's the first one, and it's against the Pittsburgh Steelers, still steaming mad from their Week 1 embarrassment. Where's former Indianapolis coach Jim Mora when you need him? He doesn't care who they play, the Colts are diddly poo, and there's no way they're making the playoffs?!?! Don't talk about playoffs! You kiddin' me?? Steel squoosh. Lock of the week.
- Monday night, Tony Romo and his punctured lung take on Rex Grossman and the high-flying Redskins. I know Romo's lung is healed, but his defense isn't. Rex came in to Dallas and lit them up last year, and he's playing better now than he was then. And don't forget the last time Dallas played Washington in prime time. The skins escaped with a win after Romo threw the tying TD that was erased by a holding penalty. With star WR Miles Austin absent, and RB Felix Jones and Romo hurting, this one won't be that close. We both love Washington to go to 3-0 and make Mike Shanahan look like a genius for another week. But we know that a Washington meltdown is inevitable so long as they look to Rex to keep up his top-notch play.
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