One Half of the Week 2 ATS Picks

Maybe I found a new strategy. Just pick one game so crazy it sends Dre into a fit of rage and he forgets that the results of ALL the games count the same! I'm on to something here. So here are my Week 2 picks, in much less detail.

• Bears (+6½) at Saints. My pick: Bears. I was ready to make my first contingency pick of the year based on the availability of one Brian Urlacher after the death of his mother. Now that he's back with the team and going to play, I sense Urlacher and the Bears will play way over their heads and beat the unfortunate Saints.


• Packers (-10) at Panthers. My pick: Packers squoosh. This line was a gift from Moses. On their way to being +16 or 17 at home this week, Cam Newton decided to light up the Arizona secondary and almost win his first NFL start. This week, Dom Capers defense rolls into town with the Super Bowl champs. There will be no such luck for Cam this week.


• Bucs (+3) at Vikings. My pick: Vikings. There is no way that McNabb can play any worse (is there?) than he did last week. Here come the Bucs, reeling from a home loss to Detroit. The NFC North may prove to be much tougher than the South this year.


• Chiefs (+9) at Lions. My pick: Lions. White Mike Vick will stay upright enough to torture a KC secondary missing it's best player in Eric Berry.


• Browns (-2) at Colts. My pick: Colts. I HATED the Browns as a big home favorite last week and I hate them even more as a road FAVORITE this week, even if it is the Colts.


• Seahawks (+14) at Steelers. My pick: Steelers. Three words now famous in IMLD lore: It's not enough. As in points. Woe to be the team walking in to Heinz Field this week after the prison rape the Ravens unleashed on the AFC Champs last week.


• Ravens (-6) at Titans. My pick: Ravens. Just keep on rolling Baltimore. This might be a letdown trap, but c'mon, it's the Titans.


• Jaguars (+9) at Jets. My pick: Jaguars. You gotta score 9 to cover 9. I'm looking at you, Mark Sanchez.


• Raiders (+3) at Buffalo. My pick: Bills. This was the hardest game of the week for me to pick. I took the Bills at home because this game feels very "pushy" to me. My confidence on this one is low, as I wouldn't be surprised to see Oakland rack up another road win with their punishing rushing game.


• Cardinals (+3½) at Redskins. My pick: Redskins squoosh. Enjoy another week of Good Rex, Washington. It wont last for long.


• Cowboys (-3) at Niners. My pick:49ers. Remember when this used to be a marquee matchup? Man I feel old right now.


• Chargers (+7) at Patriots: My pick: Chargers. This feels like a 34-31 game to me, and since thats a three point margin, I gotta take the Bolts, even though I think they lose a close one.


• Bengals (+3½) at Broncos. My pick: Kyle Orton. Bronco fans are starting to remind me of idiot Bear fans, where you can't roll through a loss or two with your starting QB before you start whining for the backup, or in this case, the THIRD FUCKING STRINGER. Jesus couldn't beat out Brady "Now I'm Done" Quinn for the backup job, and the rabid Bronco fans are showing their true idiocy here. I look for Orton to light it up this week, crush the Bungles, and STILL GET BOOED!


• Texans (-3) at Dolphins. My pick: Dolphins. Texans as a road favorite against a team thats gotta be pretty sore from the butt whoopin Tom Brady heaped upon them. Gimme the Dolphins to buck up at home and give the Houstons all they can handle this week. Underrated game of the week right here.


• Eagles (-2½) at Falcons. My pick: Eagles. Unless the Falcons discovered the secret of open field tackling in one week, I'm looking for Vick to destroy them in his return to his old home. The only thing that could stop Philly is its porous O-line, which could happen at any minute. This Eagles season feels like a ticking time bomb.


• Rams (+6) at Giants. My pick: Rams. Both teams are banged up pretty bad, so I look for a high scoring, mistake riddled, awful Monday night matchup. It'll stay close, but I see the G-Men coming out ahead by a late, slim margin.