Here's the rest of a full slate for Week 11.
| CIN (2-7) | 5 | Buf (1-8) |
|
| Buf | Buf |
| DAL (2-7) | 6½ | Det (2-7) |
|
| Dal | Dal |
| KC (5-4) | 9 | Ariz (3-6) |
|
| Ariz | KC |
| NYJ (7-2) | 6½ | Hou (4-5) |
|
| NY | NY |
| JACK(5-4) | 1½ | Cle (3-6) |
|
| Cle | Jack |
| PIT (6-3) | 9 | Oak (5-4) |
|
| Pit | Pit |
| Bal (6-3) | 11 | CAR (1-8) |
|
| Car | Bal |
| GB (6-3) | 3 | MIN (3-6) |
|
| GB | GB |
| TENN(5-4) | 7 | Wash (4-5) |
|
| Wash | Wash |
| Atl (7-2) | 3 | STL (4-5) |
|
| Atl | Atl |
| SF (3-6) | 3½ | TB (6-3) |
|
| TB | TB |
| NO (6-3) | 11½ | Sea (5-4) |
|
| Sea | NO |
| NE (7-2) | 4 | Ind (6-3) |
|
| NE | NE |
| Sun. Nite |
|
|
|
|
| PHI (6-3) | 3 | NYG (6-3) |
|
| NY | Phi |
| Mon. Nite |
|
|
|
|
| SD (4-5) | 9½ | Den (3-6) |
|
| SD | Den |
Some of our thoughts and observations included:
- We both find it nearly impossible to side with Carson Palmer and the Bungles the way they're playing only the final quarter of games. Jason will go with the (s)crappy Bills to cover, and I'll take Buffalo FTW.
- All hail the Cowboys again! I bet if they beat Detroit the way we think they will this week, some talking head somewhere will start spouting off about a possible playoff push if Dallas wins out and the rest of the NFC goes into the tank. It's the knee-jerk nature of people. One great game against the Giants, and all this praise is getting heaped upon Jason Garrett like he's the greatest coach evah. Jason still thinks Garrett's shitty play-calling the first 8 weeks was a conspiracy to get Wade Phillips fired. But we'll take the Cowboys to cover in this battle of the Thanksgiving teams because the Lions are that bad.
- Jason describes the battle of Cardinals vs. Chiefs as "Titanic vs. Titanic," in other words, two teams that have both hit icebergs and are sinking fast. He thinks Arizona is so bad that Kansas City can recover from the Drubbing in Denver and get back on track. I will hold true to my word that if the Chefs didn't show me something last week, I would lose faith. I don't know if I'm going against KC the rest of the season, but I'll take Arizona to win in a big upset.
- Same goes for Houston. I said if they couldn't get it done in Jacksonville, I would lose faith in them too, and with that, we will back the Jets against the sorry-ass Texans and give a TD. Mark Sanchez can have a big day against the Houston secondary, they're so God-awful.
- Speaking of the Texans-Jaguars and that crazy finish, the funniest announcers to me are the home guys when the home team pulls off a miracle win, because you never know what comes out of their mouths in such an exciting situation. I was disappointed hearing the Jacksonville broadcast of that Hail Mary TD because the announcers were so stunned that they had nothing for the occasion. Eventually the play-by-play guy stammered out a "Hail Mary!" but the "How did that happen?" being repeated by both guys didn't exactly live up to the moment. Because of that, I have to go against the Jags this week...no, I'm actually taking the Browns because they compete to the end of games, unlike Houston.
- We both think hell's coming to breakfast for the Oakland Raiders. Hopefully they enjoyed that bye week, because they're faced with coming to the East Coast to play an early game against a damn good defense that just got embarrassed by Tom Bieber last week. Good luck.
- Jason believes that Brian St. Pierre is French for "It's not enough." As in, Baltimore giving 11 points against this week's Carolina QB victim BSP and the pathetic Panthers is not enough points. As in, the Ravens should win by 65. I have no real defense for taking those points, except it's an awful lot of points as a home dog, and I don't love Baltimore's offense to score more than 11 points. And now, I have to root for St. Pierre to get knocked out so Carolina can go to Tony Pike at QB. I have to root for this Pike guy to come in because Jason knew that he went to the U. of Cincinnati upon me just saying his name, meaning he must be a hyooge fan. Maybe his biggest fan. Maybe Jason is going to rescue Pike from a car crash and tie him to a bed and break his ankles to keep him from escaping.
- I'm sad that I didn't nail the Brad Childress Gets Shitcanned Office Pool last week. Jason thinks this is the week. We'll take the Pack as a road favorite over the Little Wrangler and watch for the smoke signals over Minneapolis indicating the papal overthrowing.
- And here's a great example of how today's NFL works. Bad teams aren't necessarily bad, they're sometimes embarrassed into being better. The Washington Redskins couldn't have looked worse than they looked Monday night against the Eagles. Jason said they looked like the Washington Generals. You could hear the Sweet Georgia Brown music playing in the background as Michael Vick wound up and effortlessly heaved long bomb after long bomb into the air. I think at one point he threw a bucket of confetti onto DeAngelo Hall's head while DeSean Jackson sprinted past him. So it's a slam dunk to go against the Skins in their next game on the road at Tennessee, right? Jason will pick Washington and take the points because the Skins offense wasn't completely out to lunch and maybe Donovan McNabb can keep them close against the Titans. I will pick Washington to win the game because Vince Young looked so unprepared against Miami that I don't think he and Randy Moss could have gotten on the same page in just the last week, and they need something out of the passing game in order to stop defenses from focusing on shutting down RB Chris Johnson. The point is, don't be shocked if the Redskins have a very solid showing against Tennessee. In today's NFL, nothing should be shocking.
- We both will take Atlanta to go down to St. Louis and win the type of game they have to win if they want to be taken seriously as a Super Bowl contender this year. The Falcons got to hear critics suck their cocks for ten days straight after beating Baltimore a couple of Thursday nights ago. Now's their chance to justify the sucking.
- This never works, but we're doing it again--we like a favorite to win straight up, but we will pick the dog to cover the points. Tampa Bay is getting 3 and a hook at Coach Psycho, and we are scared to death of that hook. We can see a close win by Troy Smith and Co. but not a blowout over the "best team in the NFC."
- It's very tempting to take New Orleans to cover 11½ coming off a bye and winning their last two games. Jason likes the Saints, but I'll take the Seattle Seahawks to cover. The Hawks are a totally different team with Matt Hasselbeck under center, and I think he can keep it close.
- Jason thinks he figured out what Tom Brady was yelling last week on the sideline in the Patriots game vs. Pittsburgh. Brady was acting out scenes from Pulp Fiction, channeling his inner Jules Winnfield. "What you say about my hair? Do I look like a bitch? DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!? Say 'what' one more motherfuckin' time, I dare ya, I double dog dare ya! Then why y'all trying to fuck me like a bitch? ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?!" Brady frightened both of us into picking him and his Pats over Peyton Manning and the Colts, lest he and John Travolta turn me and Jason into Swiss cheese. Oh, and I'll add that I also believe the Pats will run the ball effectively and control the clock, which is about the only way to beat the Colts.
- There has been only one week this season when Jason and I disagreed on both Sunday and Monday night's games. It was Week 8, and I got fucked twice. Can this week be my revenge? We start on Sunday night with the Philadelphia Eagles coming off the greatest game of their lives and playing host to the New York Giants. Jason says as long as Michael Vick is healthy and they're playing like this, how can you pick against him? I'll tell you how--it's a combo for me of the Eagles can't possibly play another game that flawlessly, and the Giants will be amped up coming off their embarrassment at the hands of the Cowboys. Eli Manning and the G-Men have made careers of bouncing back from bad games to win on the road, where they're more comfortable away from the ire and criticism of the New York fanbase and media. This feels like a classic road thievery game.
- Monday night, it's the San Diego Chargers coming off their bye to host the Denver Broncos, who have to be feeling good after they shellacked the Chiefs. Jason says that it's been too long since a Chargers special teams meltdown occurred, and that it's overdue. He'll take Denver to stay close and cover the points. I say that San Diego's annual push for the playoffs start here with the continued lights-out play of QB Philip Rivers against a pretty bad Broncos defense. Feels like a 37-24 type of beatdown for the home team.
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