Here are the picks for Week 9. Washington is off, so nothing to piss off Cpt. Shanahan.
| NYJ (5-2) | 4 | DET (2-5) |
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| Det | Det |
| ATL (5-2) | 9 | TB (5-2) |
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| TB | TB |
| BAL (5-2) | 5 | Mia (4-3) |
|
| Mia | Mia |
| NE (6-1) | 4½ | CLE (2-5) |
|
| NE | NE |
| MIN (2-5) | 8 | Ariz (3-4) |
|
| Ariz | Ariz |
| Chi (4-3) | 3 | BUF (0-7) |
| Toronto,ONT | Chi | Buf |
| SD (3-5) | 3 | HOU (4-3) |
|
| Hou | Hou |
| NO (5-3) | 6½ | CAR (1-6) |
|
| NO | Car |
| NYG(5-2) | 7 | SEA (4-3) |
|
| NY | NY |
| PHI (4-3) | 3 | Ind (5-2) |
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| Ind | Phi |
| OAK(4-4) | 1 | KC (5-2) |
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| KC | Oak |
| Sun. Nite |
|
|
|
|
| GB (5-3) | 7½ | Dal (1-6) |
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| GB | GB |
| Mon. Nite |
|
|
|
|
| Pit (5-2) | 5 | CIN (2-5) |
|
| Pit | Pit |
Some of our thoughts and observations included:
- I've got Jason as an ally this week in my vision of doom befalling the much-ballyhooed J-E-T-S. We both like Detroit FTW. Hard to proclaim your dominance of your conference when you don't score a single point.
- We're on the same page quite a bit this week, actually. We're both picking Atlanta to knock off the "best team in the NFC," but we'll take Tampa to cover nine points, which seems like too much. It's very easy to imagine QB Josh Freeman leading another late rally and getting the Bucs to within a score before falling short.
- We also like Miami to stay closer to Baltimore than five points, but we're still picking the Ravens to win. Just feels like a FG difference between the two squads.
- We will happily take New England to keep their hot streak going and take out the Brownies in Cleveland. A well-organized team from top to bottom versus an organization perpetually in disarray? Should be a squoosh for the Pats.
- We agree on Arizona staying within a TD of the Vikings, although I'd have to pick the Cards anyway thanks to the Brett Favre Rule. In all honesty, if the Cards were going with Max Hall at QB yet again, I'd announce my love of the Vikings ATS despite having to pick Arizona. But Derek Anderson will go for the Redbirds, giving them at least a fighting chance at the Metrodome. BTW, between the Brad Childress-Randy Moss Dog Food Catering Service mess and Brett "Wangler" Favre, I'd think playing the games is sweet relief for the Vikings these days. They might make a run just because they're so happy to be on the field for three hours a week not having to field media questions.
- This is a big game to differ on, because I'm adding a stipulation. We all know that pro wrestling matches are made that much more exciting with the addition of a stip or two, assuming they actually adhere to said stip, which is rare. I have proven for the last five years that I adhere to my stips when I make them. With that said, here it is: If the Chicago Bears can't come off a bye and cover three against the winless Buffalo Bills, then I am done with them for the rest of the season. That's right, if the Bears can't cover tomorrow, I'm through with them for 2010. I feel like this has to be their most dominant win of the season after getting a week to get away from their own futility and recharge their batteries. Buffalo does not have a ferocious pass rush, which is obviously the Bears' biggest weakness, and the Bills have not been stellar defending the pass, giving up 7.5 yards per attempt, and we know the Bears will throw and not run because Mike Martz refuses to run. I am aware that I'm going against Jason The Bear Whisperer, who has always had an uncanny knack for picking Bears results when they go on the road, but I just feel like they have no excuse. It's the motherfucking Buffalo Bills.
- And now back to our agreeing on most of the picks this week, although this one is special for me. We both can't see San Diego winning at Houston with all the injuries to the Chargers' passing game. However, I believe that this is the first time I'm projecting a team to put up more yards of offense than their opponents yet still lose the game. San Diego's already done that this year, and I can see them doing it again. I think the running games for both teams will put up fairly even numbers, and I can see Philip Rivers throwing for more yards than Matt Schaub. Yet the Bolts are so snakebit this season that I will pick them to lose anyway. Turnovers, special teams explosions by the Texans' Jacoby Jones, whatever--San Diego will find a way to lose this game.
- Jason waited until I jumped off the Carolina bandwagon to jump on, figuring that New Orleans has been so up and down this year that it makes sense to take the Panthers and a TD here after the Saints knocked off the Steelers. I'm betting on New Orleans putting together another big effort like they did in their last road game, an anal violation of the Buccaneers. Perhaps this will be one of those seasons where a team plays demonstrably better on the road than at home, and NO is a prime candidate to do that because of sky-high pressure playing at home coming off a Super Bowl win.
- Jason was about to hold on to the Seattle home-field advantage and pick them to cover getting seven on the Giants, but unfortunately for me, he did a little research and discovered that something named Charlie Whitehurst is starting at QB for the Seahawks instead of Matt Hasselbeck. So we'll both take the G-Men squoosh. Damn. I coulda won a pick on Jay.
- Jason was very excited to tell me how he believes in the Eagles this week to beat the Colts. Michael Vick's back, Philly played so well in all the games he started, he wasn't just running everywhere, he was throwing it deep to speedsters Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson, everything was clicking for the Eagles the last time Vick was starting. I can't argue any of that, but the reason I'm taking Indy, besides my man love for Peyton Manning, is that both Vick and Jackson are coming off injury and playing their first game in weeks, and I'm going to give them a little time to shake off the cobwebs and get back in rhythm before I declare them once again a well-oiled Pat Burrell-like machine.
- And in the most unlikely Game of the Week ever, it's the Chiefs vs. the Raiders for 1st place in the AFC West. Raise your hand if you saw that coming before the season. Put your hand down, you filthy lying scumbag. Anyhow, Jason can't deny the momentum Oakland is riding and will go with the Black Attack. I will take Kansas City because their stellar running game is more likely to have success against Oakland than the Raiders' stellar running game against KC. But mostly I will take the Chefs because to take the Raiders is to bet on three straight weeks of good Raider football, three consistent demonstrations of football acumen by Al Davis, Tom Cable, and Jason Campbell. I will pick hell to freeze over before I pick that.
- This would be the week that the Cowboys grow a set and fuck me and Jason over by playing inspired football, but we'll pick the Pack anyway because Green Bay loves the opportunity to beat up on Dallas going back to the rivalry when both teams were really good in the 1990s, and because the Boys are the official Fed-Ex Mail-It-In team of this season until they show otherwise.
- And we'll take the Steelers to rebound and beat the Bengals because Cincinnati just may be in position to claim the next Fed-Ex Mail-It-In team of the season honors. Jason has fond memories of winning the Cincy-Pittsburgh pick over me seemingly every year in the '90s because no matter how good Pitt was and how bad Cincy was, Cincy always found a way to beat the Steelers, or at least cover the number. The game plan was always the same--WR Carl Pickens would run a go route to the outside, QB Jeff Blake would throw the ball so high and far that it would disappear from the TV screen, and it would come down in Pickens' hands for the TD. But on Monday night, Blake and Pickens aren't walking through that door.
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