2010 Week 12: What I Learned

• 8-8 record.  So much for the Thanksgiving home field theory.
• Poor Alphonso Smith.  The Detroit DB got absolutely tortured by the Patriots on Turkey Day, getting spun around and discarded on several plays, including a Deion Branch TD run-after-catch that gave simultaneous orgasms to his fantasy owners.  I was interested in what Tom Brady and Bill Belichick were trying to accomplish in the 4th quarter already up 38-24 and going for the final TD.  BenJarvis Green-Ellis eventually ran it in, but the two plays prior, Brady attempted to sneak it in unsuccessfully.  Hope it was worth almost getting the franchise QB killed trying to get him a meaningless rushing TD.
• The Saints ran out to a hot start on the Cowboys, but lost their 17-point lead thanks to 3 mistakes: a pick that bounced right off the receiver's hands, a wide open drop by Reggie Bush, and a Bush fumble on a punt return.  Fortunately for New Orleans, Dallas WR Roy Williams had the biggest gaffe of all, getting stripped racing toward the end zone up 27-23.  The Saints took that possession and scored the game-winning TD.  Unfortunately for Jason and me, the spread wasn't 3 but rather 3 and a hook.
• Strange game to end Thanksgiving--Carson Palmer made his patented drive-killing interceptions early in the game, yet Cincinnati fought back to take a halftime lead against the Jets.  They may have pulled off the upset if they could stop Brad Smith, who scored TDs on a reverse and a kickoff return in the 3rd quarter.  But after last year's Week 17 and subsequent playoff game, it's time to admit that the Jets certainly have the Bengals' number.
• OK, if any other interim coaches get a crack this season, I guess I have to pick that team no matter how shitty the team had played up to that point.  Congrats to Leslie Frazier, the newest Vikings skipper, on his win over the awful Redskins.  Here's hoping he's not psycho like his Bears teammate Mike Singletary.
• I felt really bad for Steve Johnson, the Bills WR who dropped the game-winning TD in OT against the Steelers, until I heard about his postgame tweet asking God how He could forsake him after all his previous faith.  God may have privately IM'd Johnson to remind him that, hey dipshit, I don't care about a fucking football game, you dropped the ball because you're not very good.  Guess we'll never know.  The story in this game was, Steelers dominate early, Bills fight back, Steelers ultimately win.  Pretty much the way everyone felt this one would go, with the exception of that clear Buffalo TD to win the damn game that was flat-out dropped.
• Amazing that Jake Delhomme didn't throw several bad balls for pick-6s to let Carolina come all the way back and win.  But he threw one, which was enough for Jason and me to get the backdoor cover.  Nice.  Yes, Delhomme got picked off; in other news, the sun came up.
• In a conspiracy theorist's dream, Andre Johnson will not be suspended for using Tennessee DB Cortland Finnegan's head as a punching bag Sunday, coinciding with Johnson, maybe the best WR in the business, playing in prime time this coming Thursday against Michael "Top Dog" Vick.  Seriously, can you see any scenario in which a black man rips a player's helmet off and just whales away on his dome and doesn't get suspended by El Capitan Roger Goddell immediately?  The only other tidbit to take away from this game: Never trust a black man named Cortland.
• That had to be the worst Giants run defense all year by a mile.  207 yards rushing as a team!  The Jacksonville Jaguars were running left, right, up the middle, any way you name it, they were running it.  How the hell do you lose rushing for over 200 yards?  Your horrible pass defense bails out your opponent.  Eli Manning hit TE Kevin Boss on a 3rd-down play, and Boss shook some weak tackling attempts to step into the end zone for the game winner.  Remember this game if the Giants make the playoffs.  A good rushing team could have a field day against New York's quick but light front 4.
• In what may be the Game of the Year, the Packers almost marched down to the Georgia Dome and put a rare home loss on Matt Ryan and the Falcons.  But two things were spotlighted that put an end to Green Bay's hopes for a win:  their glaring lack of a running attack, which would have helped balance their offense and given them a chance to keep up with Atlanta (that potent Packer aerial attack should never be held to 3 1st-half points), and the moxie of Ryan, who made bold throws into tight spots all day, including on the final drive to give the Falcons the game-winning FG.  You couldn't help but be a fan of Atlanta and Ryan after watching how they operate down in their home stadium.  They may not be impossible to beat in the Dome, but they will be a hell of a problem for a playoff opponent.
• If Kansas City makes the playoffs, will they be able to keep up the run-pass balance that has given them success this year?  A combo of Jamaal Charles running anywhere he pleases with a suddenly explosive Cassel-to-Bowe connection could be a nightmare.
• The Miami-Oakland tilt can be summed up this way:  Chad Henne hit his receivers on their routes all day, Bruce Gradkowski didn't.  This QB carousel in Oakland has to be maddening to all involved.  Jason Campbell will never be a consistent QB, I think we can all admit that.  But if every QB got pulled every time he had an off outing, no one would stay on the field.  I'm convinced Tom Cable would have found reason to sit Dan Marino if he were coaching in Miami in the '80s.
• Oh, now Baltimore wants to choke offensively and not get enough points to cover a somewhat large spread.  Now, when I pick them and Jason took the opposition.  Fuck you, Baltimore.  Fuck you.
• Man, I'd love to blame that dogshit turf at Soldier Field for slowing down Vick and the Eagles, but the fucking Bears seemed to be flying on that crap all day.  The offense was once again cohesive and opportunistic, burning whoever played RCB in place of Asante Samuel.  And this Chicago D is scary.  They refused to fly to Vick at all costs, instead surrounding him and making him throw into tight spots with varying degrees of success.  Sure, they hit Vick and sacked him when they could get there, but they didn't sell out and try to collapse his pocket using 3 or 4 blitzers.  They know that's asking for him to hit one of his fleet WRs with a quick slant or take off and run for days.  But I can't shake the thought that the Bears aren't for real and that their schedule will be their downfall.  For now, tip your cap to them--on Sunday, they were definitely better.
• Denver gave up a Thanksgiving cornucopia of blown coverages and soft defense to Sam Bradford and the Rams, and the result was 308 yards and 3 TDs for Bradford.  The Broncos came in to that game giving up 8.1 yards per pass attempt, which was 3rd most in the league.  It will probably go up.  Say goodnight to Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, who may not win again this year.
• This wasn't how I thought San Diego would knock out Indianapolis, using defense and running to stifle the Colts.  Four picks of Peyton Manning?  Did he and Jay Cutler switch bodies before Sunday's action?  As Manning's biggest fan, I have to say that he doesn't look right, but I really don't know what to attribute that to.  Yeah, he's missing weapons like Dallas Clark and Austin Collie, but he routinely has to adjust to new players in his lineup.  He's just plain bad lately.  Speaking of losing players, how many receivers has Philip Rivers had this year?  He finally gets Vincent Jackson back, and he immediately has a seat with a calf injury.  Rivers is lucky that the Chargers didn't have to rely on his arm in this one, because it seemed that he had trouble finding healthy pass catchers.  We'll see how that affects the Bolts in the next few games.
• My fiancee had to point me to Derek Anderson's postgame meltdown after he gagged it up for the Cardinals last night against Coach Psycho.  Derek put on quite the show during the game too, flinging the ball all around the greater Phoenix area, hitting everything but his intended receivers.  What I want to know is this:  As light as Arizona's D was hitting San Francisco, getting gashed for 261 yards on the ground, how did they manage to hit Frank Gore hard enough to break his hip?  When the fuck did that happen?  And what was the overnight rating for this eyesore of a game?  Will it be half of this Thursday night's Houston-Philly matchup now that Andre Johnson has gotten the hall pass from the principal?

Week 12 Records--Dre 8-8, .500; Jay 9-7, .563
YTD Records--Dre & Jay 92-82-2, .529