Week 8 ATS Recap: Stats Are For Losers

Tampa Coach Raheem Morris declared that "Stats are for losers" after declaring his team the cream of the NFC crop. This provided some fun for me, since I'm the Tampa Bay Buccaneers of picking football games. It's not pretty, and I give some away, but sometimes the blind squirrel does find a nut. On the opposite end of that is Dre, and the more stats he brings out for a pick, the better I end up feeling about it.

Week 8 results:
Jason 7-7
Dre 6-8

• Niners 24, Broncos 16 - Both losers - It's very hard to pick these London games. Dre alluded to his gambling days when he tried making money on a Cubs-Mets series in Japan, and he of course picked the wrong winner of each game. Once again, Air Orton piled up a ton of yardage but it was the other Smith at QB for the Niners, this one being Troy, that stole the show. The Ravens perennial backup guided the Niners offense effeciently by mostly utilizing Frank Gore and avoiding turnovers. Scary thought: the 49ers, at 2-6, are only 2 wins behind the division leading Seahawks. Maybe there is hope for Coach Psycho to make the playoffs? Shudder.
• Chiefs 13, Bills 10 (OT) - Jason loser, Dre winner - I feel sorry for the Bills. Facing likely playoff teams the last two weeks, the Bills managed heartbreaking overtime losses in both games. The Chiefs seemed to have control until another late Bills surge and tying TD with just over two minutes left to force overtime. The extra period went down to the wire, and the last second FG saved us all from a week of whining about the tie rules in the NFL. Dre might be on to something here, as the Bills are not relenting in covering big spreads. As the Bills play tougher, the spreads will diminish, so betting the Bills will be a riskier endeavor, unless they decide to finally WIN one of these games.
• Jaguars 35, Cowboys 17 - Both losers - I keep clicking refresh on my sports sites to make sure that Wade Phillips hasn't been fired yet. This one blew me away. Not just the fact that we both stuck our heads into a bear trap on this pick, but the manner by which the Cowboys lost. This Jaguar team made the MNF crew retch, and they love EVERYBODY. Yet there were the Jags, stomping the living snot out of the dreaded and feared Dallas defense. We expected the Boys to show up for their missing star QB much the same way the Steelers did....oops. Big difference: the Steelers have heart.
• Rams 20, Panthers 10 - Jason winner, Dre loser - Dre went to the well one too many times with Matt Moore. His boy, Sam Bradford, stuck it up his ass for it. The Rams sit at a very surprising 4-4, given their offensive injury woes. What might this team be doing if it had healthy wideouts? Dare I say it, the Rams are potentially playing for a playoff spot due to being in the weakest division in football. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
• Dolphins 22, Bengals 14 - Both winners - Some picks feel easy. Some picks feel right. This was one of those. The Dolphins just feel like a superior team, and even after TO hammed it up after a Benny Hill style touchdown, the better team prevailed. Fantasy note: you might want Dan Carpenter as your kicker. Five FGs in back to back games? How very Neil Rackers of him.
• Lions 37, Redskins 25 - Jason winner, Dre loser - In our game discussion, I made it very clear that this was when my Mike Shanahan hate was finally coming due. Jokingly, I asked if he had benched Donovan McNabb yet, given Shanahan's history of benching QBs needlessly. History: Shanahan all but ended Jake Plummers' career when he benched the 7-2 starter in favor of the Broncos new toy, Jay Cutler. Cutler flamed out, and Plummer never seemed to get the bitter taste out of his mouth. I'm not a Broncos fan, or a Plummer fan, but one thing was pretty obvious: Mike Shanahan is a retard. Jump forward to now: Shanahan benches McNabb in a tight game, and watches his backup fumble on his first play in the game for a Detroit defensive TD. Mike Shananhan is such a genius. So much, in fact, that today the Redskins worked out Jamarcus Russel and J.P. Losman. Andy Reid is somewhere laughing, and eating an 18" pizza all by himself.
• Packers 9, Jets 0 - Jason loser, Dre winner - Were the Packers that good, or were the Jets that bad? I'd say more the latter, as Mark Sanchez found wipe open receivers plenty of times, or should I say on the plays when he wasn't airmailing his wideouts or his receivers weren't letting Packer DBs rip the balls out of their arms. Late in the game, however, the Packers started playing some pretty solid D, more I think from the confidence boost that comes with taking a shutout into the 4th quarter. The Jets looked lost, and coming off a bye, looked very vulnerable in the tough AFC. The Jets may be an upper echelon team in the league, but offensive woes and turnovers will not win come January.
• Chargers 33, Titans 25 - Both losers - Vince Young really doesn't like finishing games, and the Chargers look pretty good when their not collapsing on special teams. But don't worry, the Bolts still managed to have a punt blocked for a Tennessee safety to start the contest. After that, the league's top offense looked pretty impressive, and the Chargers will have their work cut out for them in the second half if they want to make a playoff surge.
• Bucs 38, Cardinals 35 - Both winners - LaGarrette Blount punched it in (get it!) late for Tampa to seal their fourth comeback win of the year. I know I root for the rival Falcons, but I do take a small measure of interest in this Bucs team, due in no small part to my being President and Sole Member (or maybe now Original Member) of the Josh Freeman Fan Club. Granted that the Bucs had to blow a huge lead in order for yet another late comeback, but there is still someting impressive about the job experience that Freeman is getting. This could be a scary team in years to come, but at 5-2 and now tied for the best record in the NFC, we now see that indeed "Stats are for losers."
• Patriots 28, Vikings 18 - Both winners - Something tells me that Brett Favre may be regretting this latest, and hopefully last, comeback. The Vikings go out and trade what is now a completely wasted draft pick for the toy Favre always wanted, then cut him after he laments that he misses the Patriots and that the Vikings should have listened to his advice more in how to handle the Pats. Ah, Randy Moss, we hardly knew ye the second time in Minnesota. Sure, he's a blowhard, but Moss was probably more right on this one than Favre and Chilly. Why would Moss miss the Pats? Maybe because, for the most part, Tom Brady got him the damn ball. Sure, some of this is a salary dump and a give up move on the Vikings part. But the Cowboys North sure are going nowhere fast.
• Raiders 33, Seahawks 3 - Jason loser, Dre winner - Who was that that said the Raiders couldn't keep up the momentum coming off a 59 point showing against the Broncos? Oh, it was me. Dammit.
• Saints 20, Steelers 10 - Jason winner, Dre loser - If the Saints were going to show up, this was going to have to be the week. After looking listless all season, Drew Brees looked sharp, and even though the Saints had no running game at all, Brees managed to pick apart the Steelers secondary and pretty much carry his team to the win. After being embarrased by the Browns, the Saints needed a tough win to refocus in what is looking like a tough NFC South.
• Colts 30, Texans 17 - Jason winner, Dre loser - The primetime games were good to me this week. Needing a Colts cover to take the week and pick up a game in the head to head, Peyton and Co. looked cooly efficient in taking out the rival Texans. Arian Foster did his damage against the porous Colts run defense, but a slow start by Matt Schaub helped the Colts jump ahead by 14 early and both teams pretty much traded scores until the final gun.