- I need real NFL referees back. Now.
- The Giants-Panthers game was a tale of two offensive lines. Carolina got pushed around by New York's defense, and Cam Newton was under siege all night. The G-Men kept Eli Manning clean, and he marched his offense up and down the field. That happens. What I didn't get is how did the Giants discover the magic elixir that allowed them to get into that physical back-and-forth contest with Tampa Bay, you know, the one where Eli threw for over 500 yards, then travel to Charlotte only three days later and not just hang with the young and hungry Carolina Panthers but blow them off their own field. I haven't been so sure of a pick in a while, and the pick was dead fucking wrong. But that's what the Giants do--they underperform when they should, and they excel when they're not expected to do well.
- Speaking of Tampa, their defense impressed again versus Dallas, only giving up quick slants to a potent offense and keeping the Bucs in the game. They may have had a shot to win, but Josh Freeman couldn't get rid of the ball, and the Cowboys were able to snuff out TB rallies with their pass rush. And another kneel-down scrum at the end, as Tampa coach Greg Schiano can't seem to forget that he's not coaching in college anymore and keeps instructing his defense to blow up the center and QB as they attempt to kneel and run out the clock. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I'll just say that it's all about winning and losing. If Schiano can put together a good enough squad and start winning, no one will care that his team shows false hustle during the kneel-down. If they don't win, that tactic will be cited as evidence that he's a small-minded college coach, and he'll get shitcanned. All about the results.
- I have crushed another bandwagon! Just as everyone crowned the 49ers as the bast in the world, I decide that I can't stay away from picking them at a lacking Minnesota outfit, and of course they get beat. The Vikings made a desperate go-for-it decision on 4th and goal on their 1st possession, and if they get stuffed, that may have been the game. But they score, and grab that early momentum, and the result is a game where Alex Smith has to play catch-up and use his arm to rally San Francisco to victory. You see how that worked out. Christian Ponder played a career game against a tough defense, and he gets the credit. That sprint past the blitz for the rushing TD that made it 14-0 was a special play. For all of the Alex Smith love, I'd probably rather have Ponder right now.
- Detroit fucked up that win at Tennessee long before the overtime gaffe that defined a directionless, undisciplined franchise under coach Jim Schwartz. The Lions fell asleep at the wheel for two special teams TDs for the Titans, and they couldn't hold a lead because the D kept giving up the booty to Jake Locker in his career game. They manage to steal two late TDs in about 2.1 seconds to miraculously force OT, then down 3, they line up on 4th and a yard, well within FG range, in order to draw Tennessee offside with a hard count and earn a cheap 1st down. But see, that requires the team you're playing to have less discipline than you. And since that's impossible, the Lions wind up somehow "accidentally" snapping the ball and getting stuffed on a QB sneak, ending the game. Maybe QB Shaun Hill, playing for a hurt China Doll, saw glory and a quick yard and called for the sneak, unbeknownst to the rest of his line. If that's true, again, it's the mark of an undisciplined team. Bottom line: Detroit should not have lost that game.
- Cincinnati tried to give up the booty to RGIII and tried to blow a big lead, but Washington couldn't take advantage because the Shanahan Boyz couldn't stop calling option plays and other crazy shit in the playbook that kept getting Robert Griffin blasted and potentially broken. Seriously, I got Week 5 in the "RGIII Gets Sent to IR" pool. This one went how I thought it would, as the lack of a Redskin pass rush exposed their secondary, and Andy Dalton toasted them like Pop Tarts. The Bengal defense wilted in the 2nd half, in part thanks to chasing Griffin around, but there's got to be a better way to take advantage of his athleticism than options and letting him get busted in the fucking mouth for 60 minutes. If the Shanahan Boyz were the geniuses that they purport to be, they'd discover another way.
- And now, the funeral and burial of the New Orleans Saints. We'll be featuring Louis Armstrong-style trumpet and street marching bands as we wind our way through the French Quarter on our way to the cemetery...Yes, Jason declared the Saints dead if they allowed the Chiefs to compete, and the Chiefs didn't just compete, they rallied back from a deficit as if they had every right to. Jamaal Charles sliced through the Saints defense like Usain Bolt at a high school track meet, and poof, a 24-6 New Orleans lead was gone. I'm still not sold on Matt Cassel; I don't think the comeback would have occurred without Charles getting busy. But I am sold on New Orleans being lost in the wilderness, and like Peyton Manning earning MVP last year in Jason's eyes due to how horrible the Colts were in his absence, I may have to start a Sean Payton for Coach of the Year campaign.
- The New York Jets D took advantage of young Miami Dolphins players to fight back into their game down in Florida. Fumbles, dropped passes, wrong routes--you name it, Miami provided it. So that left the Jets a chance to grab a win if they could rally on offense. Uh oh, that means Mark Sanchez at the helm...and a funny thing happened. Total Fraud's repertoire of quick slants and little cute misdirections, the same shit he always does that gets smashed by real teams, well, it all worked, and the Jets got within a FG of a last-second win. The FG was blocked, and the Fins celebrated...and it meant nothing because coach Joe Philbin "iced" the kicker with a timeout right before the block. Of course, Gang Green nailed the FG after the TO. And yet another coach genius move of icing the kicker goes against his own team. When will these guys start trusting their special teams to make a play instead of trying to outsmart everyone?
- Andrew Luck: 313 yards, 2 TDs. Blaine Gabbert: 155 yards, 1 TD. That means the Colts crushed the Jags, right? No, because in a rarity for me this week, I visualized a big performance and it actually happened. Maurice Jones-Drew lit up Indianapolis on the ground for 177 yards, providing basically the only offense for Jacksonville, and Gabbert was able to throw a "short" pass to Cecil Shorts, who took it 80 yards for the game winner. I missed the days where a running back starting against Indy was guaranteed to put up massive yardage, but it looks like those days may be back. I guess LB Pat Angerer, who's been hurt for every game so far this season, makes that much of a difference for the Colts.
- I gotta keep these late-afternoon recaps short because every single game charted high on my WTF?! reaction list. First, Michael Vick continued to play like shit as the Cardinals moved to 3-0 by routing the Eagles in Arizona. Vick's decision-making blows right now. He's taking too long to throw the ball, and he's running right into defenders instead of around them like he used to. He's gotta get better, like, right now, or else Andy Reid will be left with no choice but to bench his ass. Kevin Kolb looked all-world. If the Eagles didn't sack him, he made every play. That had to be a one-game great performance. Don't bet on a repeat.
- It was all about the Atlanta D in San Diego, as Philip Rivers and the Chargers couldn't get anything going in losing to the Falcons while scoring only 3 points. Matt Ryan looks very comfortable, the Falcons offense is humming along, and if the defense keeps this up, they will be at the top of the NFC at the end of the year.
- Denver stayed within shouting distance of the Texans, even as Houston and Matt Schaub lit up CB Tracy Porter early and often. They must have seen something on tape in preparation, because they targeted Porter and used him like a tampon. It was one of those long bomb attempts on Porter that cost Schaub a part of his ear, as he exposed himself to a big hit from blitzing LB Joe Mays. Bottom line is, Peyton Manning couldn't complete the comeback because he can't gun the ball like he needs to in order to make big plays downfield.
- And in Oakland, the vaunted Pittsburgh D let them down big-time. Ben Roethlisberger made all the throws in putting up 31 points on the Raiders, and from there, it's up to the defense to pick on Interception Santa and put the game away. But they let Darren McFadden run wild and put the Silver & Black back in the game. The Antonio Brown fumble didn't help; the talented Steelers WR had a big catch and fumble that gave Oakland the rock in great field position, and they took advantage. The big boot by Sebastian Janikowski gave them the win in the end, but Pittsburgh allowed Oakland to get to that point by playing terrible defense. Is age finally getting to the Steel Curtain?
- Then the scab refs took the spotlight in both prime-time matchups. First, in Baltimore, the meltdown came because the game-winning FG for the Ravens appeared very close to missing, but the refs called it good, and New England coach Bill Belichick tried to actually grab a ref as he ran off the field because he wanted an explanation so bad. That's gonna cost him cash, I'm sure. But that's how little respect coaches and players have for these guys. The game breakdown went like this for me: New England kept Tom Brady clean, and he played a fucking great game picking apart the Baltimore defense. Then their pass protection broke down late, Brady started getting sacked on 3rd downs, and that's why Joe Flacco had a chance to lead a comeback. Otherwise, he would have had no shot. So the better team lost, but I got a win thanks to the ½-point hook on the spread, so I'll gladly take it.
- In Seattle, the shit hit the fan with such ferocity that Jason's posted twice about the refs since, and the media feeding frenzy continues even as of this writing. The refs botching the call on the game-winning TD is all the talk. I'll join in briefly by saying that, yeah, I don't know how one could rule it a simultaneous catch by Packers DB M.D. Jennings and Seahawks WR Golden Tate. Jennings on every single replay I've watched had more possession of the ball than anyone else, ruling out the "simultaneous" possibility, meaning that any other opinion of the catch would have to claim that Tate had the ball outright, which isn't truthful at all. The zebras fucked up royally. I'm not even mad at the clear push-off by Tate because that happens on every jump ball and never gets called. Anyway, how did we get to that point? Because Seattle pounced on Aaron Rodgers in the 1st half and stifled the Green Bay offense, but they weren't able to get it going when they had the ball save for the 1st TD pass to Tate from Russell Wilson. So when Green Bay adjusted in the 2nd half and ground-and-pounded Seattle with RB Cedric Benson, they didn't have much of a hill to climb to take the leap and control of the contest. It should have worked and given the Pack a big win in a hostile environment against a ferocious defense. Alas, thanks to the high school referees, it didn't. Oh, and I'm also convinced with no proof at all that they didn't overrule their call after seeing the replay because they wanted to be able to leave Seattle. If they give Green Bay the win on appeal, they may not have made it out of the stadium with their lives.
Week 3 Records--Dre 6-10, .375; Jay 9-7, .563
YTD Records--Dre 26-20-2, .565; Jay 27-19-2, .587
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