2012 Week #14

Jason's taking a well-deserved weekender with the wife, so his picks are e-mailed along with a few choice one-liners.  I'll also deliver my analysis for each contest in one line.  He was game enough to give Tout Service another try, so I'll also have three Locks of the Week.  I have a Christmas-themed post in mind, but I'll discuss it with Jay next time we chat.  Even if he's not up for it, I think I'll give it a go.  On to this week's picks in almost no detail.

Fav	Spread	Dog	Final		Dre	Jay
	Thu. Nite
Den (9-3)	10½	OAK (3-9)	Den 26-13		Oak	Oak
	Sunday
WASH (6-6)	1	Bal (9-3)			Bal	Bal*
CLE (4-8)	7	KC (2-10)			KC	KC
PIT (7-5)	9½	SD (4-8)			SD	Pit
IND (8-4)	5	Tenn (4-8)			Ind	Tenn
NYJ (5-7)	2½	JACK (2-10)			NY	Jack*
Chi (8-4)	2½	MIN (6-6)			Chi*	Min
Atl (11-1)	3	CAR (3-9)			Car	Car
TB (6-6)	9	Phi (3-9)			TB	Phi
BUF (5-7)	3	StL (5-6-1)			StL	Buf
CIN (7-5)	3½	Dal (6-6)			Dal*	Cin
SF (8-3-1)	10½	Mia (5-7)			Mia	SF
NYG (7-5)	4½	NO (5-7)			NO	NO*
SEA (7-5)	10	Ariz (4-8)			Sea*	Sea
	Sun. Nite
GB (8-4)	7	Det (4-8)			GB	Det
	Mon. Nite
NE (9-3)	3½	Hou (11-1)			NE	NE

• Ravens-Redskins, D:  Battle of the Beltway, Ravens for all their troubles are 9-3, and that rookie wall for RG3 and Morris should hit...now, hopefully??  J:  "Ravens as DOGS? Love it - LOCK."
• Chiefs-Browns, D:  Brady Quinn's no team leader even after that speech last week, but he can lead KC to cover a touchdown over the fucking Browns.  J:  None.
• Chargers-Steelers, D:  Don't trust SD to win, but don't trust Roethlisberger to lead a rout in his 1st game back.  J:  None.
• Titans-Colts, D:  Might be a shootout due to two poor defenses, and you gotta trust Luck over Locker in a duel.  J:  None.
• Jets-Jaguars, D:  Chad Henne's pixie dust wore off last week, and if the Jets can't get it together against Jacksonville, they should stop playing football.  J:  "Seriously? Jets are favorites? LOCK."
• Bears-Vikings, D:  I didn't know Chicago would be so beat up when I called them to go into Minnesota and take this one, but the Vikes are dropping out of contention like a stone, so I'm sticking with it.  J:  "You picked the result last week, so I have to go against you."
• Falcons-Panthers, D:  Atlanta hasn't played their best in quite a while, so they're primed for a rump-roasting in Charlotte.  J:  "Falcons caught napping after clinching."
• Eagles-Buccaneers, D:  Guess Bryce Brown hasn't quit for Philly, but I'm still taking Tampa, desperate at 6-6, to rip through the sad-sack Eagles.  J:  "Foles and Brown seem to have reinvigorated the Philly O."
• Rams-Bills, D:  Since I can't take the push even though this is going to OT and ending in a FG, I'll take the better-coached Rams to maybe find a way to squeeze this one out.  J:  None.
• Cowboys-Bengals, D:  Lock it up because for all their stupidity and worship, Dallas ain't bums, and Cincy's still bumslayers.  J:  "At least these Cowboy drives won't end in death."
• Dolphins-49ers, D:  Should be a careful, conservative offensive game plan on both sides, so gimme the Fish to fight and keep it close.  J:  None.
• Saints-Giants, D:  Saints to win because I really hate New York on a short week versus an angry Drew Brees on a long week.  J:  "LOCK."
• Cardinals-Seahawks, D:  Lock up another rah rah sis-boom-bah for Pete Carroll versus inferior competition in the Meat Grinder.  J:  None.
• Lions-Packers, D:  I'd love to think Megatron can keep it close with the season he's having, but Detroit's proven its stupidity has no bounds.  J:  None.
• Texans-Patriots, D:  Another proving ground for Houston, but their secondary's hurting, and against Tom Brady, that's a wrap.  J:  None.