| Fav | Spread | Dog | Final | Dre | Jay | |
| Thu. Nite | ||||||
| ATL (10-1) | 3½ | NO (5-6) | Atl 23-13 | Atl | ||
| Sunday | ||||||
| CHI (8-3) | 3 | Sea (6-5) | Sea* | Chi* | ||
| GB (7-4) | 9½ | Min (6-5) | GB | Min | ||
| SF (8-2-1) | 7½ | STL (4-6-1) | SF* | SF | ||
| NYJ (4-7) | 6 | Ariz (4-7) | Ariz | Ariz | ||
| Car (3-8) | 3½ | KC (1-10) | Car | Car* | ||
| DET (4-7) | 6 | Ind (7-4) | Elvis | Det | Ind | |
| BUF (4-7) | 6 | Jack (2-9) | Jack | Jack | ||
| NE (8-3) | 9 | MIA (5-6) | Mia | NE | ||
| Hou (10-1) | 6½ | TENN (4-7) | Hou | Hou | ||
| DEN (8-3) | 9½ | TB (6-5) | Den | Den | ||
| BAL (9-2) | 9½ | Pit (6-5) | Bal* | Bal* | ||
| Cle (3-8) | 1 | OAK (3-8) | Cle | Cle | ||
| Cin (6-5) | 1 | SD (4-7) | Cin | Cin | ||
| Sun. Nite | ||||||
| DAL (5-6) | 10½ | Phi (3-8) | Dal | Phi | ||
| Mon. Nite | ||||||
| NYG (7-4) | 3 | WASH (5-6) | NY | Wash | ||
Some of our thoughts and observations included:
- Right off the bat, it's our first head-to-head battle of differing Locks of the Week. Jay's got the Bears pounding the Seahawks in Chicago, which is a sound pick considering Seattle's 1-5 road record this season. Why do I have the Seahawks as a lock to beat the Bears? I've been scarred from the last two Seattle trips to Soldier Field, which have resulted in road wins. Seattle will have Skittles out there running up and down in Beast Mode as he usually does, and their secret weapon is the rookie QB who likes to hit it big on play action after Beast Mode has worn out the opponent. Throw in the Chicago offensive line, in shambles after injuries and walkouts, and I don't feel good about Jay Cutler's chances for success. It really helps that the two Seattle cornerbacks who will eventually be suspended by Roger Goodell won't be suspended for this game.
- We're also seeing things differently when the Vikings travel to Green Bay. Jason's got Adrian Peterson running up and down on the Packers and keeping the game within that big spread. Not me. I got Pack squoosh. I got Minnesota in pure free fall, leaving playoff contention behind as they go around the division showing just how little they deserve to be regarded. They'll be back home next week hosting the Bears, and they'll get destroyed there, too.
- The 49ers have to be regarded as the best team in the league, from my perspective. Neither Atlanta nor Houston's combination of offense and defense strike me as better than San Francisco's. Now Colin Kaepernick gets to put on a show on turf, and the defense gets to avenge the embarrassment of playing the Rams to a tie a few weeks ago. If Kaep can handle the Superdome, then the Edward Jones Dome should be no sweat. I'm locking up the Niners on the road.
- Whatever one may think of Arizona and the nap time they've entered during the Ryan Lindley Era, giving 6 points in order to pick the wretched New York Jets, who can't even hold on to their longtime superfan Fireman Ed, is stupefying. Good Lord, this is the only way I can pick the Cards. Take the Jets and give that many points with Total Fraud still at the helm? No way. You gotta take Arizona and the points. There's just no other option. Or you can pass on this game if you're an "expert" and not be bothered with it, but we pick every game, dammit! Even if we don't intend to watch a second.
- Jason will lock up the Panthers as they take on the Chiefs in Kansas City. Why? Frankly, the other team had a guy shoot his head off, like, the day before. You need more of a reason than that? I'm not locking it, but I also don't imagine KC will be in much of a mood to play football considering what just happened. Plus, Brady Quinn and his zero TDs still take the field for the Chiefs. Would make me wanna shoot myself if I played for them, that's for sure. Three thoughts from me about the Jovan Belcher tragedy: 1, who?? 2, that doomsday clock that people have for when football will no longer look like football because so many safety restrictions will be in place that the sport won't be recognizable thanks to a well-meaning but flawed attempt at concussion prevention? I've been hearing that clock put at 10 to 20 years from now. Well, Belcher moved that clock up about 5 years. That shit was next level, and I think it had to happen only because of undiagnosed brain injuries. What else could it have been? No other sport has guys snapping and killing themselves like this, except pro wrestling, and I love pro wrestling, but you don't wanna be lumped in with pro wrestling when the topic is young men killing themselves and their loved ones. And 3, like a boss, the NFL and Goodell say that this game will be played. 24 hours after a player blew his head off in front of coaches and management. Damn. The full stadium must be entertained, and the show must go on, I guess.
- Elvis returns for this trap game in Detroit, where a clearly inferior Lions squad are rather big favorites over a Colts team 3 games better than the Lions. Jason will fall into the trap and take those points. He's certainly taking the smarter team, because the Lions proved on Thanksgiving that they can find new ways to lose every week if they have to. But I'm giving them one more chance. One of those defenses has to make a play somewhere along the way, and I don't like Detroit's D, but I like it better than Indy's. The Lions can dominate the Colts rushing and passing and put Chuckstrong down for another day.
- Jacksonville continues to get dissed by the oddsmakers. Last week, they were home dogs against the terrible Titans, and they got the job done. This week, they are almost a TD underdog against the woeful Buffalo Bills. We'll both take those points. Buffalo's defense shouldn't slow down the hot Jags so much that they win by a touchdown. I can see Buffalo winning thanks to the running attack, but only by a FG or so.
- Jay still laughs at picking the Patriots -20½ over the Dolphins the year New England went 16-0, and the Pats won 49-28. I had Miami, of course. He likes New England to stomp on Miami similarly this week. While NE has racked up some impressive point totals this year, I'm playing a hunch and taking Miami to stay within a TD. The Pats addressed their weak secondary by adding Aqib Talib, but he can't play everywhere in the backfield. Ryan Tannehill might be able to pass enough to keep it close.
- Is taking the 10-1 Texans to cover less than a TD against the Titans a sucker bet? Jason wondered aloud before going with Houston anyway. Clearly, this feels like sort of a trap to Jay, and I sorta agree. I think Houston covers too, but I think they may have to grind it out and fight with Tennessee to do it. Say what you will about the Titans (and I do), but they do make you work for it. But Arian Foster hasn't been afraid to work for it, so I think he'll have a big game.
- On to the afternoon, and Peyton Manning and Denver, who got it going late last week in KC, too late to cover the number for us. This is a stiff test for the Broncos as they host Tampa Bay, but we'll pick Peyton once again. We both struggled with this one, as the number is quite large considering how well the underdogs have been playing. But I think in Denver against the maestro, this is a game where the Bucs get exposed as pretenders. Tampa has three road games left this year, and I don't see them winning any of them with that pass defense.
- We didn't struggle with the Steelers-Ravens pick despite the same large number. We both are locking up Baltimore. Look, they were subpar last week in San Diego. But they're at home, they're playing their rival who's still missing their best player, and they smell a chance to bury said rival and not have to worry about them come playoff time. They should be highly motivated, and this should be a slaughter.
- Cleveland's 0-5 on the road this year. It doesn't matter how scrappy they are, that sucks. You know what else sucks? The entire Oakland Raiders organization. Form top to bottom, they're bad and clueless, and on the field, the defense has put up such little fight that Oakland looks to be a FedEx Mail-It-In™ Team. The Browns have fight, the Raiders have quit. Or as Jason put it, we have Brown Fever in the Black Hole, which means that this game is shit. Cue the CSI David Caruso/Robert Plant Scream.
- San Diego still has fight, they just have no clue. There looks to be 12 or so coaches that will all get shitcanned the day after the regular season ends, and Norv Turner's right at the head of the line. Jason's done picking the Chargers the rest of the way, and I may be too. I'm definitely going Andy Dalton and the Bengals here. The Bolts will keep it close and find a way to lose in the end. It's what they do.
- The NFC Least gets the prime time spotlight for both the Sunday and Monday night games. A brilliant idea that could only have been conceived on the East Coast by some New York idiot who thinks the world revolves around that overhyped division. On Sunday, the football public gets the treat of Andy Reid and the Philadelphia Eagles, who are nominated for FedEx Mail-It-In™ Team for their embarrassing showings the last month plus. I think I'm done picking the Eagles this year. Not Jason. In the battle of Stupid (Cowboys) vs. Quit (Eagles), he says it's Quit all the way. He just can't make himself go with Stupid. I feel exactly the opposite. I think you have to always go with Stupid, because at least they haven't quit.
- On Monday, the Redskins, who almost went to New York and knocked off the Giants in Week 7, get a crack with home field in their favor. The same Redskins who knocked off the Giants twice last year on New York's way to a World title. Jason's backing RG3 to fuck up the G-Men again and get the win this time. I was tempted, but I'm going to give the Giants some love so long as Eli Manning appears to be healthy. The defense is relatively full (they may not have Jason Pierre-Paul, which would really hurt), and you know they want to hunt down the rookie phenom Robert Griffin and slap him around a little. This may be a shootout with the last QB winning. But if the New York defense is really back to their normal level, they'll shut down RG3, which is easier said than done.
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