- Games in no detail: Bengals-Eagles (evenly played for a while, then Philly went Philly), Buccaneers-Saints (when I said New Orleans wouldn't care and would lose, I meant the exact opposite), Vikings-Rams (when I said St. Louis could contain Adrian Peterson and get the win, I meant the exact opposite), Jaguars-Dolphins (when I said the Jags could strike early and...ah, fuck it), Lions-Cardinals (testing the limits of Detroit's ability to fuck up, and Detroit failed miserably), Panthers-Chargers (not just a lay-down by San Diego, but I lose in fantasy by two points with Danario Alexander giving me zero catches, so thanks, cocksuckers), Seahawks-Bills (Seattle over the Niners in the Grinder next week, lock it up), Chiefs-Raiders (yawn).
- Just as my picks were excruciating this week, so was watching Chicago slowly succumb to Green Bay and lose the division. It would be one thing to get destroyed by the Pack on their home field, but the Bears rarely get destroyed by Green Bay, they just find ways to lose. It's all falling apart in the Windy City, with players sniping at fans, fans and media demanding coaching changes after the 8-1 start, and the offense continuing to suck. Look, I can only offer outsider opinions with no way to tell if they're even close to the issue, but I'm seeing a real dysfunction when Chicago has the football. I see Jay Cutler looking for Brandon Marshall as the 1st through 6th option, and when he's taken away, Jay doesn't know what to do. Maybe it's because he doesn't trust the other pass catchers, maybe it's because he doesn't trust himself. And when he does decide to throw, another issue is how off-balance he seems to be, which is a product of poor fundamentals and footwork. Many of his INTs are balls that sail way beyond the intended receiver, and Cutler will never be any good again until he quits doing that. Green Bay is in a familiar position--when they get Roided-Up Troglodyte to lead the pass rush, that allows Aaron Rodgers to play under control, and that makes the Pack very dangerous.
- Giving up the booty to an inconsistent but potent Atlanta offense is one thing, but how the hell did the New York Giants manage to respond with zero points the entire day?? I can't even say that it was a particularly bad Eli Manning outing, the G-Men just never got it together as an offense. More than a bad Eli day, it reminded me of when Denver came in to the Georgia Dome in Week 2 and Peyton seemed to be fooled by the Falcons coverage schemes. Eli looked like he didn't expect DBs to be where they were at all. Maybe Atlanta's found some secret method to trick anyone in the Manning family into turnovers. They should sell that method to Bill Belichick just in case the Patriots have to play another Super Bowl against Eli.
- And when I said that the Redskins would go down to Brown Fever using their backup rookie QB, I completely dismissed Kirk Cousins and whatever ability he brought to the table. Honestly, a lot of those plays looked like they were designed for Bobby Three-Sticks, but Cousins slid right in and made them work for himself, too. Yeah, he didn't break any 60-yard runs, but Washington clearly uses a game plan to spread their plays in all directions no matter who's the QB. Lots of play-action rollouts, lots of stretching the field deep, and that 1st TD throw to Leonard Hankerson was about as perfect a throw as it gets. I guess what to learn is, the Skins are a big-time offensive threat regardless of who's under center, and the Shanahan Boyz are tickled pink with pride, I'm sure.
- Don't let the score fool you--Denver commanded that game in Baltimore from the moment they stepped off the plane. It takes a full organizational commitment to beat Peyton Manning when he's on, and no one can argue that since Week 2, he's been on. But the Ravens organization decided to get rid of their offensive coordinator before Week 15, and that is not the mark of full organizational commitment. And boy, did that offense look uncoordinated. It was raggedy, off-sync, just what you should expect. And my heart actually hurt for Joe Flacco when he threw that pick-6 before halftime, because he got in a rhythm and was trying to get on the scoreboard, and he tried a little too hard and threw a bad pass. The Broncos are a machine, just like the Colts were going into the playoffs every year, except this defense is better than any of those Indy defenses. And Baltimore is freefalling.
- Of course Andrew Luck mounted a comeback for the Colts in Houston after the Texans built a lead, because that's what he does. I expected Houston to build a lead in a game where Indy should have been stiff early because of the high stakes, but I thought Luck would lead the comeback and at least cover the spread. What Houston did, and it was very logical, was kill Indy's hopes of a comeback by committing to the run and gashing that terrible Colts run D in the 4th quarter. The reason that I didn't trust Houston to do that was because they had been underwhelming as a rush offense this season. They ranked 8th coming into the game, and they were only averaging 4.1 yards per carry, and for the Texans, that was below expectations. But it appears that coach Gary Kubiak has been keeping Arian Foster and the run game in reserve for when he really needs it, and he pulled it out in this one. It's hard to know when the Texans can build an early lead because the passing game has been hit-or-miss, but if they do get a lead, even against Andrew Luck, they can hold it.
- I enjoyed the Pittsburgh-Dallas game as a football fan because it was an evenly-played, high-quality matchup with the whiff of desperation in the air because the losing team was going to find itself in deep shit in any playoff scenario. The two QBs aren't thought of when the concept of the scrambling quarterback is mentioned, but in their own way, Ben Roethlisberger and Tony Romo are two of the best scrambling (and overall) QBs of their time. They constantly extended plays with their feet, avoiding angry black guy after angry black guy like they were at a nightclub at 3A.M. Pittsburgh may have lost because of Big Ben's overtime pick, but they led in regulation. The Steelers couldn't put it away because they sorely missed Ike Taylor to lock down either Dez Bryant or Miles Austin, and they lacked the coverage linebackers to stick Jason Witten or DeMarco Murray out of the backfield. I think age has finally caught up with Pittsburgh, and their season is done. Dallas can always screw up their playoff hopes by playing stupid in the next two weeks, but having Dez Bryant still making plays is humongous, as is Murray finally being healthy and adding the run dimension.
- Sunday night was obviously mind-blowing for anyone who watched. I was thisclose to going to sleep when San Francisco went up 31-3, but I managed to hold off Mr. Sandman while watching Tom Brady lead a ridiculous comeback. The Niners had to be stunned at what was happening. Not Colin Kaepernick, though. He weathered the storm and didn't feel like a total failure when the Patriots made it 31-31. He just took the ball and threw a quick curl to Michael Crabtree and much YAC later, SF was back on top for good. I really liked the poise by Kaep in that situation. The burning building was falling all around him, and he and Crabtree rescued the people anyway. I learned that Coach Insane will have his offense (and special teams) ready to do anything to get a big win, and he probably feels a lot more confident with Kaepernick executing his mad plans than with Alex Smith. And I learned that Brady and the Pats aren't afraid of any defense, but that every defense should be afraid of them.
- And all praise the Tennessee Titans, who put us out of our misery Monday and ended the New York Jets' hopes for another playoff berth this year. Here's what you take out of this one: whatever you think of Jake Locker, who clearly isn't very good yet, he played the hell out of that game and Total Fraud was about as bad as I can remember. Yes, I know what I'm saying when I say that Locker played the hell out of that game and produced one touchdown of his own making (the other Titans score was Chris Johnson for a 93-yard sprint). I'm taking Locker being bad right now into the equation. He still played very hard, he tried to play smart, he stuck to Tennessee's obvious game plan of wearing out the Jets cornerbacks with perimeter throws and stretching the field horizontally so Johnson could better find holes...in short, he played like the veteran with playoff wins that every Jets fan tries to pretend that Mark Sanchez is. And Sanchez plays like...well, like a total fraud who got those playoff wins on the backs of his once-stout defensive unit. I'll miss the carnival that is Gang Green once Rex Ryan is fired and they try to develop a real QB. I won't miss the ESPN coverage of it all.
Week 15 Records--Dre 5-11, .313; Jay 8-8, .500
YTD Records--Dre 110-108-6, .505; Jay 108-110-6, .495
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