Week 15 ATS Recap: Those Mayans Better Not Be Right

Here's to hoping theres some Mayans walking around on Saturday who have no idea what day it is.

Picks We Both Won (2) Seriously, fucking TWO?

• Raiders (-3) 15, Chiefs 0
• Titans (-1) 14, Jets 10 - Thankfully, the Jets season is over. It took 5 turnovers from Mark Sanchez for Rex Ryan to finally decide he's seen enough. So, of course, he names third-string Greg McElroy the starter over Tim Tebow. Wait, wha? Yup, in yet another show of no-confidence in Tebow, and a big middle finger to the management that brought Tebow in, Ryan is going with what he considers the guy who gives the Jets the best chance to win. That's not saying much for Tebow, because if anyone knows watching awful play at the QB position, it's Rex Ryan and the Jets. They've been watching it for four years now. Looks like this might be the end of Total Fraud. I'm crushed.

Picks We Both Lost (5)

• Bengals (-5½) 34, Eagles 13 - So we know full well that the Bengals only move is to beat really bad teams. So what do we do? We pick the Eagles. We earned this loss.
• Falcons (-1) 34, Giants 0 - I get the feeling that the Falcons were getting a little tired of all the negative press, as if being 11-2 can be a bad thing? Count Dre and I among the guilty, we weren't believing much in the Falcons, either. But in one major thrashing, Atlanta knocked the defending champs into third place in the NFC East and only need one more win to lock up home field. It was a nice performance, but the pressure doesn't start for the Falcons for several more weeks yet.
• Redskins (-1) 38, Browns 21 - When the Redskins flip Kirk Cousins for a ridiculously high draft pick, this will be the game that gets them the haul.
• Cardinals (+6) 38, Lions 10 - The only question I have after this game is: which coach gets fired the fastest? Jim Schwartz or Ken Whisenhunt? The Lions dominated the stat sheet, oh except for two pick-sixes on top of a third pick and a lost fumble on their way to inventing yet another way to lose.
• Niners (+4½) 41, Patriots 34 - For as much fun as we make of Jim Harbaugh, I'll throw this out there: Alex Smith couldn't have pulled this off. Colin Kaepernick torched the Pats for three first half touchdowns and had the Niners up 31-3 five minutes into the SECOND QUARTER. The Pats shrugged that off and came all the way back to tie the game at 31 before the Niners pulled away for good. Most teams would have folded up against the hard charging Pats, these relentless comebacks are just what they do, right? If this was a Super Bowl preview, then sign me up for the rematch!

Picks Dre Won Head to Head (3)

• Packers (-1) 21, Bears 13 - People can be down on the Bears offense, but it is what it's been all season. Once the Bear defense stopped scoring points, the team went in the shitter. If not for the Packers being careless with the ball late in the game, this would have been a rout.
• Broncos (-3) 34, Ravens 17 - Nothing is going right in Baltimore right now. The defense is exposed, the offense, and their QB, are definitely not "elite," and how sad is it that I feel better about the Cowboys being one of my Super Bowl teams and not the Ravens? Pretty damn sad, indeed.
• Seahawks (-4½) 50, Bills 17 - These Seahawks are on a path to give someone a rude awakening come playoff time. Really, who is going to want to play them?

Picks I Won Head to Head (6)

• Saints (-4) 41, Bucs 0 - Josh Freeman imploded here, capping off the Bucs collapse. Was this a potential playoff team a few weeks back?
• Vikings (+1) 36, Rams 22 - Reason #1 Adrian Peterson is most likely going to win the MVP this season: Christian Ponder is his QB and he's still running wild, when teams know that's ALL the Vikings can do.
• Dolphins (-8) 24, Jaguars 3 - It looks like the Jags got their two good games out of Chad Henne. Hope they enjoyed them!
• Texans (-10) 29, Colts 17 - A late, cheap Shayne Graham field goal picked me up the win here. End of story.
• Panthers (+3) 31, Chargers 7 - Looks like Dre's wish might come true! He wants Norv Turner shitcanned so that the Bears can hire him as offensive coordinator. Who knows, it could happen. Christmas IS next week....or is it?
• Cowboys (+1) 27, Steelers 24 (OT) - If Dallas wins out, they win the NFC East. Not bad for the Stupidest Team In Football, but being stupid means finding a way to screw it up, too!