- Wait, so I have the best one-week record this season at 13-3, and Jay's had the worst one-week record this season at 2-12-2, and he's still seven games clear of me? Guess getting hot doesn't make up for staying consistent.
- Games in no detail: Panthers-Buccaneers (not a damn thing happened in that game that was a shock), Colts-Patriots (Pats D sucks, and whatever you think of Orlovsky, he's way better than Painter), Ravens-Browns (props to Ray Rice for dominating the Browns), Rams-49ers (murder).
- I must point out at least one person on the Eagles who did not quit last Thursday in Seattle, and that would be RB LeSean McCoy. And there's a reason he didn't quit despite playing through a toe injury--he's on my fantasy team, and I benched him before the game. (Yes, I lost by less than the 24 points he posted for my bench. Yes, I'm stupid.) Everyone else on Philadelphia seemed like they were not interested in being there. QB Vince Young tried to play a careful game and not lose the game for his team...and he threw four INTs. That's careful Vince. What would he have done if he wasn't being careful? I actually felt bad for him after he threw the pick-6 to David Hawthorne because he was on one knee squinting and rubbing his head, and I thought, someone put him on suicide watch tonight. Then he came out and immediately threw another pick, and I realized that he didn't give a fuck anymore. Jason may have missed this pick, but he's the one who said before the season started that Michael Vick would get hurt, Vince Young would play shitty in his absence, and the Dream Team wouldn't make the playoffs. I bow to the greatness of JTG.
- Speaking of didn't want to be there, Oakland rolled off the plane in Miami and played like they were ready to party, not participate in an NFL contest. They had no pass rush, bad protection, didn't show up at all until the 4th quarter--in other words, nice pick by me. One of my three losses, and it wasn't close. Between Michael and Reggie, the Dolphins clearly had the better Bush, by cracky. BTW, why the fuck is Reggie going off for 100 yards every game? He just figured out a month ago how to run against NFL defenses?
- I have some bad news for the AFC. Houston looks fucking scary as hell. I haven't bought into the Texans having the #1 defense in football this season because their schedule has included mostly lightweights. New Orleans, Pittsburgh, and Baltimore have been their toughest opponents, and everyone else has been crap. Atlanta is not a lightweight, but they got dominated like they were. The Falcons and Texans passing games couldn't have been more dissimilar early. Atlanta was out of sync and being pressured constantly, and Houston took their time and executed nicely. But Atlanta was sending Matty Ice out there at QB and Houston was going with T.J. Yates. Yes, Yates outperformed Matt Ryan on this day, but it's all because Yates didn't have to stand in there against the Houston pass rush. They were nightmarish. Ryan quickened the pace later and got the ball out much faster, but it wasn't enough. And another scary part of Houston's attack is how they're zone-blocking the hell out of everyone and running the ball when they need to. The Falcons had the #2 run defense in the league, and they still had no answer. I'm this close to declaring Houston as a winner over whomever they play in their opening home playoff game.
- Chris Johnson is playing scary ball right now, too. I have no idea what has made him start to perform lately, but I know what helped in Tennessee's game at Buffalo. The run defenses for both teams were awful. It was a battle of whose run D could be worse, and the Bills won that battle. There were more gaping holes on the field than in the studio for the filming of Anal Invaders 14. The Titans are still in contention so long as CJ can keep it going, and no, I don't mean C.J. Spiller.
- I don't care that it didn't go down the way I predicted, I'm taking full credit for calling the Chiefs going into Chicago and springing the upset. ("Caleb is our quarterback...") So what if Kyle Orton tried to play for Kansas City and got hurt on his very first play, never to return? So what if the Chiefs had to rely on Tyler Palko for the remainder of the game? So what if he threw the only TD of the game, a Hail Mary to end the 1st half that Brian Urlacher swatted right into the hands of a Chiefs WR? (I lost a pick last year when Houston swatted a Hail Mary right to a Jacksonville WR, so I'm happy to even the score on that front. "Caleb is our quarterback...") Simple math for this game: Swirling winds +2 bad QBs -1 with no blocking whatsoever -1 with its all-world RB getting knocked out early = the team that deserved to win won. ("Caleb is our quarterback...")
- No surprise in Washington--the Redskins still can't cover or tackle, so Shonn Greene had a big day running, Mark Sanchez was pump-faking the Skins out of their shoes (seriously, think about that--y'all got pump-faked to death by Total Fraud!!), and the New York Jets continue to believe that they're kinda good for one week. How many games until the Shanahan Boyz take down Roy Helu as the starting RB because they decide that he's out of shape and replace him with John Beck?
- I could have talked about this game in no detail, but they deserve special mention: Pittsburgh was clicking on all cylinders against Cincinnati, and the Bengals looked even more overwhelmed than I expected them to. It's a beautiful thing when QB Ben Roethlisberger gets in a rhythm with his receiving corps. He knows just who to hit on the intermediate routes, who to go to deep, who to look for on checkdowns...it's like a machine. This was a rhythmic slapping of Cincy, and it's going to be something if the Bengals totally break down from their excellent 1st half of the season and cannot make the playoffs. You assume they're going down next week vs. Houston and in their finale vs. Baltimore, but what if they slip vs. Arizona or in St. Louis?
- How did Touchdown Jesus do it this time? Well, Minnesota slowed Tim Tebow down on the ground (they still let Willis McGahee run for 111), so Tebow took to the air. The result was a downfield strike almost every single Goddamn time the Vikings were able to get a lead. Ten completions for 202 yards! Was Minny even trying to defend the pass? It was a wild back-and-forth contest with both the Broncos and Vikings performing on offense much better than anticipated. There was horrible pass coverage from both teams, but both QBs Christian Ponder and Tim Tebow have to be commended for exploiting the bad coverages. It was a terrible INT thrown by Ponder that gave Tebow and the Broncos the last possession and the game-winning FG, so it wasn't quite Tebow stampeding and willing Denver to a win no matter what the adversity. Minnesota had the rock and a chance to drive and win it if they don't throw it away, and that's not Tebow's prayer that caused the pick, regardless of what he may tell you. But I can't deny that Tebow found his ability to run smothered and had to keep Denver in the game in a fashion not comfortable to him, and by God, he did it. Still, enough with this league MVP talk from certain media outlets. Bad play for most of the game and inspirational rallies do not an MVP make. If it did, Alfonso Soriano would have several trophies.
- There's a lot of blame to go around for how the Cowboys fucked up the end of their game in Arizona, but I'm putting most of it on the coach, Jason Garrett. Dallas was driving late in regulation with the score tied, and they found themselves with a completion in the middle of the field around the Cards' 30-yard line with over 20 seconds to go. Dallas had two timeouts at this point. No one can argue that they should have used one of the timeouts here to set up another pass or two to get closer for the FG, which was about 49 yards and no gimme for a rookie kicker. That's mostly QB Tony Romo's fault for trying to rush his team up for a spike and letting almost all of the time run off. But Coach Garrett could have called it as well. What Garrett did by calling the timeout a second before the kicker nailed the FG was by far one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. He could have called it if the play clock was about to expire, but there were still six or seven seconds to go. But he panicked because he didn't think his special teams were set up properly. It was just a dumb move, and I fear that the Cowboys can allow this incident to screw with their minds and make them a bad play for the rest of the season. Arizona's d-line was impressive, stopping the run and pressuring Romo all game, so maybe the Cardinals can make some noise the rest of the way. And I just want to address a theory that Garrett didn't use the timeouts while the clock was running because he didn't want to give Romo more chances to fuck up and turn the ball over: Dallas had no rushing attack, so Romo racked up 42 pass attempts compared to the Cowboys rushing it only 19 times. Does that sound like a coach who doesn't trust his QB?
- How fun was it to watch the Packers and Giants trade big plays all day in the New Meadowlands? Just a back-and-forth fight won by the team that happened to have the ball last. The Giants knew they could hang with Green Bay, so I'm sure they're not surprised by the outcome, but the Pack has got to be worried about how bad their defense is leaking. LB Clay Matthews, who has been virtually invisible this season, came up with a big pick-6, and if not for that, New York easily could have won. If the Packers get that effort from Matthews all the time, they're a different unit defensively, but if not, they're very, very vulnerable.
- Oh, the penalties! The Detroit Lions continue to behave like the big bullies of the NFL, taking cheap shots whenever the opportunity presents itself but otherwise backing down when someone punches back. How do you like TE Brandon Pettigrew getting mad because someone covered him and broke up a pass, and then shoving a referee who came in to break up the confrontation? He's lucky he wasn't thrown out of the game, but perhaps the Lions wake up and check themselves if he was ejected. Instead, they grunted and shoved their way through that Sunday night ass-kicking administered by the New Orleans Saints, who are just a bitch to play in that dome. I want to see New Orleans go outside so I can see just how much of a difference it can make. I've got two weeks of proof of how great they are in the Superdome from the last two games.
- I have no clue what to make of what Philip Rivers did to Jacksonville on Monday night. After looking as bad as he's ever looked for the vast majority of this season, Rivers made every throw against the Jaguars. I mean, every fucking throw. Hard and in a tight window, soft with touch between zone coverage, one-on-one downfield exploiting the size advantage for his WRs, you name it, Rivers threw it. He was absolutely awesome, and it's so frustrating to see that now when the Chargers are hanging on to playoff hopes by a string. Rivers and Jacksonville's QB, Blaine Gabbert, revealed their true selves in this game, because Rivers was great, and Gabbert was crap. Oh, and the Jags quit in the 4th quarter, too. That was obvious. Rivers broke their spirit and they stopped trying. So I'm fairly confident of two teams that are FedEx Mail-It-In Teams™ at this time--the Eagles and the Jaguars. Congrats, men.
Week 13 Records--Dre 13-3, .818; Jay 8-8, .500
YTD Records--Dre 87-98-7, .470; Jay 94-91-7, .508
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